Las Vegas: a dud town for writers.

My first cover story. Photo by Krystal Ramirez

Today I learned that the weekly magazine I had yearned to work for laid off a number of the editorial staff. These were writers who were producing content for a paper and digital edition with skeletal staff.

Like any good intern I was saddened and dismayed. Then I got the bright idea that, well, while those writers were good to me, I am not liking the taste of ramen noodles and would love a full-time writing gig. This was my pitch for them to hire moi.

Hello Nicole and Genevie,

Sources on good authority say the A&E editor is leaving. His hi-jinks and hilarity will be sadly missed causing me to pour a sip on the concrete. Since the job will be filled by a promotion or outside hire, allow me to pitch myself for a spot on your writing staff in any capacity? Really, I am willing to make coffee, pick-up laundry and even transcribe. I know I was skilled at being the only intern to not transcribe because you thought me slow or incompetent but I really can do it. Honest.

I am more than a pretty face with an amazing jump-shot, B-girl style. I have improved my social media skills beyond creating content and engaging with readers. I use Google data and Google Earth to really make online content pop. I can source stories through Twitter and Facebook analytics and produce videos, adding more texture to the content. Just ask my ex-boyfriend how good I am at stalking his social media. Millennials have nothing on me. My spelling is still sluggish but like super heroes of lore, it has allowed me heightened copy editing powers way better than whomever wrote for “Suicide Squad.”

You already know I am a highly ethical journalist unless there is a free lunch involved, flexible on hours — because work rarely starts at 8 a.m. right? — and able to meet deadlines with ease. You know I collaborate well with your editorial, sales and music festival staff and not just because they hook me up with tickets. Plus, Sken, the publisher loves me. I can assuage his white guilt if he hires me: the only Black, woman immigrant who speaks English as a second language. Amber doesn’t count. How can she? Her name is highly pronounceable.

You also know I can offer more than reading and journaling. Like expanding Wendoh’s media market share by developing engaging content aimed at Mommies, drunks, weed-heads, the unemployed, Latino and African-American millennials and Gen X-ers. Or developing an Afro-Punk type festival to rival those in Brooklyn, Paris and Los Angeles.

I come cheap. I am passionate about journalism, Las Vegas and Vegas Seven. You gave me an opportunity to write and I am forever grateful for it.

Thanks for your time,

Soni Brown

​I was your intern.

Follow up:I did not get the job.