The 54th Deadline: Stumbling Forward

Just once in my life, I wish I could say a bunch of things magically panned out for me without a hitch. But nope, as usual, something has to come in my way to halt my progress. Ever so slightly. Though this time, thankfully, it is just a minor setback. I have had my share of slip-ups here and there over the years. Some more devastating than others, but the worst offenders had me reeling for extended periods of time.

However, for me to become stronger and wiser as a person, I tell myself to “stumble forward” whenever I happen to trip over something. This way, I can at least say I am making forward progress. I can pick myself up, dust off some metaphorical dirt and just keep heading toward the direction I am advancing toward in life.

As someone who has had plenty of moments to “quit” at any point in this journey, I believe it certainly means a lot when I say I have taught myself to persevere. When parts of your mind are filling you with some sense of doubt, you have to ignore them. They can and will try to rationalize some bogus excuse not to continue.

Had I listened to such toxic thoughts, I would be in a different spot right now. That is a guarantee.

Every Step Counts

I have had people tell me I am not going to get anywhere.

I have had people undermine me.

I have had people imply that I would be better off dead because no one would care.

But you know what? Screw them. With all due respect, I care. I care about my well-being. I care about how much “success” I want out of life. Right now, as I type this out, I am nowhere near content with how things have played out as a whole. Nonetheless, every day is another chance to make certain aspects a tad superior. Every week passes by, yet I find myself grinding it out. I can feel the sense of progress. Albeit, these advances are slow. It is not going to explode anytime soon.

And this is OK.

I will just keep biding my time until I am ready to pick up the pace. I will inch my way forward until my next destination is within sight. I want to reach out toward great things. I want to BECOME great for real someday.

I have to keep going forward. Even if I stumble, I have to get up. Even if I keep falling, again and again, this means I get up equally as many times.

I cannot give up at this point. I have come this far by hanging in there when the going got tough. Now, as I try to plan out my next move, I feel like I am on the edge of truly moving on with my life or…

“Hope is my catalyst.” — Nhan Pham