Mental Tools For A Better Mental Health

Hi if you have just discovered me. I’m just another human on planet Earth trying to work out how this s**t works before I get too old to enjoy it or I get abducted by aliens or the world ends or the internet breaks and we are all left trying to figure out how to communicate again. So by sharing my experiences via blog and music I hope to be able to help in some way. Let me know šŸ˜€šŸ‘


What Is Mental Health?

Through my own experience, I believe that Mental Health is simply;

Ā· Daily problems that we create inside our head.
Ā· They are totally perspective based.
Ā· The seriousness of the problem is completely unique to the individual.
Ā· The outcome is dependent on the mental tools used to process the problem.
Ā· You either create a positive or negative result.

What we want is more positive results.

Everyone has some form of mental health problem.

Think about these situations.

Standing in a queue;

Ā· Will I be here all day?
Ā· I’ve got so much to do!
Ā· For god sake hurry up!
Ā· Why are they staring at me!
Ā· These people are too close to me!
Ā· It’s getting really hot in here!
Ā· Is that me that smells or is it the person in front of me who clearly has low standards!
Ā· I might say something!
Ā· Oh wait, we are moving. Oh, no we’re not!

Deciding what to wear and wondering if it is appropriate for the occasion;

Ā· I can’t find my matching underwear?
Ā· What if I’m out and I discover the love of my life!
Ā· What will people think of my outfit?
Ā· I hope I am liked because of how good I look!
Ā· Do these shoes match this jacket?
Ā· Oh, my hair is bad and I’ve messed it up, again!
Ā· Does my breath still smell of yesterday’s curry?
Ā· This’ll have to do. Oh no, I am going to be late!

Only two examples here but look at the intensity of what we say to ourselves when we go about an everyday activity. Everything we do will cause mild forms of stress, anger, anxiety, frustration, insecurity and a whole list of other emotions and feelings that we can learn to understand and control.

We have to recognise when they are happening and what is causing them.

Next time you feel yourself being overwhelmed by any of your emotions, ask yourself the following.

1. How do I feel?
2. What story am I telling myself in my head right now?

When you recognise how you feel, you are in a position of power to change it. Ask yourself;

1. How do I want to feel?
2. What will make me feel that way?

You are in complete control to tell yourself a different story. One that will help you feel the emotion you want to feel when you want to feel it.

Here are a few key things to consider that may help you to understand you and your mind, which are really the same thing. If you want to be all Yoda about it, ā€œWe are what we think, don’t you thinkā€.

Understand Your Learnt Behaviours

Which of your behaviours are negative for you and which are positive for you?

Everything you have ever been exposed to contributes to learning and learnt behaviours.

If you learn how to walk standing tall with your head up, then that’s how you will walk.

If you have learnt to pronounce the Queens English all prim n proppa like, then that is how you will talk.

If you are taught that something is good and that something else is bad, then you will believe that always. Or, until someone proves to you of a better, more efficient way.

Our parents play a huge part in our learning. They teach us everything they know to get us off the ground and running and to then eventually fly the roost.

Sometimes though, our parents aren’t always equipped with the right tools to answer everything. That is not their fault and you shouldn’t blame them. You should in fact be grateful that they have helped you to get to this point.

Fortunately, now, not for everyone but for a large number of the population, Google, in the grand scheme of things has become the Oracle.

It is designed to answer pretty much every question ever.

Now, I am not saying that you should take everything from Google, friends or your parents as 100% gospel, unless it is but, you should be using these resources to create your own judgment for the answers that you are looking for.

Oh and by the way, you need all of these resources as they all in a really odd way support each other with what they bring emotionally.

Also, the answers you get may not be right for what you want answered and equally it might not be what you want to hear.

Bottom line here is to decide for yourself how you want to behave and to recognise if it is having a negative or positive effect on your surroundings, results and life.

Learn To Recognise Patterns & Triggers

What patterns trigger what feelings?

Ā· What has made you feel the way you feel about the problem? (Result)
Ā· What do you do before the problem happens? (Pattern)
Ā· Where are you when the problem happens? (Trigger)

In answer to the above;

1. Recognise the feelings and emotions. (Result)
2. Change what you do before the problem occurs. (Pattern)
3. Change the environment where the problem starts. (Trigger)

Now there could be a few Trigger variables like, who are you with or what has just happened, but being aware of these things will really help you to start to manage your life in a more positive way.

Create A New Management System

Create a new way that your brain deals with a problem.

Ā· Look at how you currently deal with situations that always end with a negative outcome.
Ā· Now think about the new story you can tell yourself to create a positive outcome for those situations.
Ā· Recognise your patterns and triggers and create new patterns.

Finally, and this is probably the biggest one of them all. There is nothing wrong with being honest with how you feel. You will feel better being honest with yourself more than anything else.

Ā· Pick one person you 100% trust and who you can call your rock. Talk to that person honestly. Process your thoughts with that person. They must be a good listener but they are definitely not the one you go to for answers. And here’s the punch line… The only person who has the answers to solve all of your problems is you.

Problems aren’t always easy to solve. I suck at math but if my life depended on an equation, I’d sure as hell research how to figure out the answer…

Conclusion

So, to summarise. Always confront a problem. Find the root cause of a problem and find a solution to solve the problem. Avoidance schemes, things that ā€œ take your mind off itā€ don’t fix a long term problem.
Some problems could stem from childhood & the way in which we currently understand how to fix or avoid them has been so deep rooted that we have to get all Yoda on ourselves to unlearn the current way that is creating the same results and learn a new way to create the results we want.

Everyone is different and they are all having their own internal conversation about the situation whilst your having yours. Remember it is all perspective and the key thing is to learn about the right mental tools you need to aid in the situation.

Additionally, understand what it is you are aiming to achieve and make sure that remains your focus. Once you achieve that, then everything else is a bonus… How much do you realistically need to be fulfilled, comfortable, happy, content, ā€œfinancially freeā€? Being realistic and honest with what you truly want and need will really help develop a solid grounding for you and your family’s future. When in times of turmoil, remember your focus.

Your focus is your Purpose. Find it.

I really hope that this helps you in your journey as much as it has helped me. These are just a few of the things I have applied to my own life and boy was it a journey. Not so bumpy now I must add. I am in no way a qualified councillor or psychologist but what I do know is that what I have learnt and applied to my life to get me through a shitty time has worked. It’s a very personal journey that as I said, only you can find the answers too. Hey, what I’ve shared here might even be just a crock of shit for you and that’s ok. Go find your answers…. I wish you all the best of luck and love.

Nick

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Nick John Wilson šŸŽ¶šŸ‚šŸŽø

Written by

Mix Engineer / Producer at Quill Tip Audio / Currently studying at Abbey Road Institute / BASI Snowboard Instructor / www.nickjohnwilson.com

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