Why I’m voting for Trump and you should too
La Montaña Rusa
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Gotcha Suckers!

Thanks to the ingenious work of PsyOps operative “Asshat Arsenic” aka: “Donald Trump” the United States Government, in partnership with the UN, ACLU, and Amnesty International have identified millions of North American terrorists, aka:

Trump Supporters

Through the use of “Trump’s” fictional 14 month campaign, the Human Rights Defence League, along with the entities listed above, have been able to successfully identify the most dangerous people in the western hemisphere.

This body is now ready to move and give Trump-errorists a taste of their own medicine:

(insert lawn sign here)

If you have a “Make American Great Again” sign in your lawn, prepare to have your citizenship revoked, your property seized, and your person deported.

Thank you for notifying us of your radical and hateful intent. Collectively, y’all represent the western equivalent of ISIS. If only eastern terrorists were so willing to decal their vehicles and publish their terror funding so solicitously.

Thanks for alerting us to your total disregard for The Constitution and basic human decency.

You may have not cut anyone’s head off yet… but you’ve let us know: you would if given the opportunity.

We appreciate your cooperation so much, that it almost saddens us that we have to send you to Guantanamo Bay, Damascus, and Antarctica. We understand that language above a 4th grade reading level confuses and enrages you. We understand that you were abused and neglected as children…

But, look at it this way:

You get to test your theories out!

You’ll get to experience tyranny and oppression in their most palpable forms. You’ll get to experience states with ZERO gun control! Yeehaw! You’ll get experience racial profiling and belligerent violence from “law enforcement officers”.

In the end, it’s a win-win-win-win-win-win:

“Trump’s” sentence, for molesting his daughter and defrauding customers, will be reduced… from multiple lifetimes, to one life sentence.

Your children will grow up in good, loving homes-stopping the cycle of violence once and for all.

The American public capable of comprehending the key concepts of equality and liberty… they’ll never have to face-palm again.

Hillary will be able to ceed her position, enabling Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders to lead with grace, compassion, and humility.

You will get to meet those “awful foreigners” up close and personal, their turf. You’ll get to play with all the guns, rocket launchers, and tanks that you would like… if you survived long enough to reach one.

The oppressed people of the eastern hemisphere will get to rest easy, knowing that they have seen the “Western Devils” in person… and watched them wilt in the desert sun.

Everybody wins!

Thank you again for participating in our 2016 Ignorant-Self-Loathing -Chauvinist-Bigot Survey!