Read My Ebook FOR FREE and LEARN HOW to Have Sex With a Roomba

Set Goals to Achieve Massive Wealth
Everybody’s talking about Roombas!

I wanted to cash in. In 2008, I set a humble goal for myself, “Write an ebook about Roombas in hopes of making enough money to buy a Roomba.”
I wrote countless drafts of Roomba ebooks in all of the most popular niches, “How to Make Money Online with Just a Roomba,” “Everlasting Spiritual Fulfillment Through Roomba,” “Roomba Diet: Get Skinny Fast By Eating a Roomba”. None of these books made any sense!
Only one ebook niche makes sense for writing about self-operating vacuum cleaners: hardcore XXX pornographic fiction.
~!~!~!~!~!~CLICK HERE AND SEE HOW ROOMBAS HAVE HOT, XXX SEX FOR FREE!~!~!~!~!~!~
Nine years later and my ebook, “Roomba Romance: Ravished by Roomba” is complete! Featuring scenes of man on Roomba, woman on Roomba, and Roomba on Roomba action, it is a very steamy read.
Just imagine, it is your favorite self-operating vacuum cleaner having sex with humans and also other autonomous vacuum cleaners.



To date, the book has sold 0 copies.
How To Convince The Angel Investors
But yesterday, something miraculous happened. A guardian angel investor was posting about owning a Roomba on Facebook. She is angry that Roomba is covertly surveilling her house for marketing purposes.
Of course, I saw the perfect direct-contact marketing opportunity, so I struck up a message,
Me: I see that you’re interested in Roombas. Did you know, I wrote an ebook about Roombas that might have interest to those who have interest in Roombas.
Angel Investor: I do not like my Roomba. You can have it for free. It is a dysfunctional vacuum cleaner and sells the mapping data of my house. It is a sad machine.
Me: This is excellent! You have solved my business problem of “Always Wanting To Own A Roomba But Not Being Able To Afford Or Even Justify Buying An Expensive, Poorly-Reviewed Machine” Would you be interested in reading about Roombas having sex?
Angel Investor: I am not interested. I do not like Roombas. They are bad. This book is not for me. Get it out of my house as soon as possible.
Fast-forward to today: Mine is a story of abject success and prosperity.
I completed my goal, “Write an ebook about Roombas in hopes of making enough money to buy a Roomba,” flawlessly. I own a Roomba now!
I never need to make money ever again…
That’s why I’m giving away Roomba Romance: Ravished By Roomba for free. I want to share my love of Roombas with you.

And if we fast-forward to tomorrow, I will be alone, in my apartment, just me and my new Roomba. Hold my calls, for it will be glorious!
And if we fast forward a few more years after that, prepare yourself for the sequel military sci-fi adventure, ROOMBA ROMANCE TOO: OVERCAME BY ROOMBA.
