You Can Call Me What? Part Two
Bryan Adams and Bonnie Tyler get analysed in another foray into the lyrics of classic songs.
Now I realise that the following is going to hold me up to ridicule but I’m not adverse to a bit of ridicule.
It’s not often that I would use the word “aghast” but that’s the state I found myself in yesterday. Now in my defence, I would say that The Summer Of 69 isn’t one of my favourite songs and my familiarity with it has only been due to it being played to Absolute Death on radio over the years. Therefore you will appreciate that any lyric-learning has been done by chance rather than by design. By half-hearing. Via the sub-conscious.
Furthermore, whoever listens to the first verse of a song? It’s only when the chorus kicks in that one starts to pay attention. I knew there was something in it about a Five’n’Dime which I know is a discount store but I had never paid enough attention to realise that that’s where he bought his first guitar. I mean, it makes sense now that I think about it as they “had a band and [they] tried real hard.” Then Jimmy quit (although up until about five years ago, I thought that he was singing about the Jamaican musician… “Jimmy Cliff, Jody got married…”) but that’s another story, I digress.
The reason I am aghast is that for over thirty years, I never realised that the first line of the song was “I got my first real six string.” Now I sense that the theme of the song is one of a coming-of-age teenage enlightenment, so surely I can be forgiven for the following misunderstanding…. All this time, I have been singing “I got my first real sex dream…”
Now as a friend pointed out to me, what was I thinking, seeing as whatever he was doing, he did until his fingers bled — to which I have no answer. I admit to not thinking it through properly — but whoever said lyrics had to make sense?
To me, the sex dream lyric is the sort of lyric that Bryan Adams would’ve written had he put a bit more thought into it so I’m going to email him and see if he’s tempted to do an update — you know like the musical equivalent of a Director’s Cut where they breathe new life into an old bird.
Whilst we’re on the subject of confessions, can someone tell me what Total Eclipse Of The Heart is all about? Great karaoke song. Especially if you’re a couple. First of all you’ve got the wind-in-the-air croaky female lead followed by all that tenor or countertenor “Turn around” backing vocals. Fantastic. And a good way to pass any drunken evening but has anyone ever stopped to listen to the words. Is she in a relationship? Was she in a relationship? Is he there? Has he gone? Or is it all a fantasy?
So I understand that she “gets a little bit lonely” coz he’s “never coming round.” That’s reasonable enough — poor soul. This leads her to wisely conclude that “that the best of all the years have gone by.” But then she sees the look in his eyes which is not strictly possible if he’s never coming round, unless of course, she’s psychic. But if she’s psychic, my guess is she wouldn’t be moping so much.
Then she tells us that she’s tired of listening to the sound of her tears. Falling tears don’t actually make a noise unless of course she means the whimpering and sniffles that usually accompany those bouts of uncontrolled sobbing. And then I get it but if this is the case, I need to address Ms Tyler directly as it’s clear she’s not getting the correct advice from her friends.
Listen Bonnie, love, it’s not really something you should admit to, if you want him back. If you’re tired of the sound of your tears, how do you think we feel? Let alone your long-suffering boyfriend? Have you actually given any thought as to why your he’s no longer around? He doesn’t want to hear you’re miserable. It’s very undignified and not an image that is going to win you any favours. It’s much more likely to lead to a huge sigh of relief that he’s managed to escape all your drama.
And let’s face it, if you’re both living in a powder keg and giving off sparks, that’s rather a dangerous situation and not the ingredients for a healthy relationship. I think it’s best that it’s you who turns around, moves forward and tries to focus on something more positive. Why don’t you forget about him and hold out for a hero who’s strong and fast and fresh from the fight….?
My original piece You Can Call Me What? can be found below
