Heyo! I’m writing (well, officially) for the first time and by officially I mean that still nobody I know knows about it. I have been going through a phase of eternal internet surfing (duh!) and I realised that a lot of people out there want us to think that being called ‘beautiful’ is shallow, or undermining. That it simply treats us like a bunch of cells (which we are) but as if there is nothing worthy inside.
Let’s start with a simple fact, that what we look like biologically, is not up to us i.e we’ve been born with different eye shades, skin types, body types (unless externally modified).
Mostly, when people call us beautiful, it is because they think we’ve been given (or have been born with) a nice combination of facial features or body shape. We do feel nice about being called beautiful, which is the default setting inside us.
Now, I think, there are two layers to this.
On the outer layer, being called beautiful shouldn’t be appreciated. One must, if one has to, compliment the deeds of a person. Being called brave, witty, smart, kind, inspirational is acceptable, rather appreciated, but “beautiful” is shallow, only relating to a person’s physical attributes.
Well, at least this is what superficial feminists say on social media and I’ve come across a lot many of those recently.
But there is a deeper layer to this…
We all have different standards of beauty, to start with. What I find beautiful, may not be beautiful for you. The point here, is, that if someone says that you’re beautiful, it means that you’re their kind of beautiful, which is heart-touching on some level.
Now, the very main point.
You must have people around you with bald heads, protruding bellies or yellow teeth. What happens when you fall in love with a person who doesn’t match the society’s beauty standards. Or even if someone is practically average-looking but is ‘the one’ for you, or not even romantically, just someone you have known for ages, your mother or your neighbour. You wouldn’t even know and you’d find their normal brown eyes a mug of coffee that you need every morning. You’d see their crooked teeth and think that there’s treasure hidden in between those crevices. (I don’t want to sound too cheesy, though) Or see their fat tires and think that they remind you of your cosy teddy bear you had back home… And you’d say, “Oh! You’re so beautiful!”.
There is no reason to NOT feel happy about this compliment. Somebody notices the beauty you hide somewhere behind your ear when you tuck your hair or the way you sing your favourite song on the top of your voice. You surely haven’t designed your lips or your teeth, but when someone says that your smile is beautiful, it’s because, to them, it is. It gives them warmth and warmth is beautiful.
I know the world is getting more and more practical everyday, and why not, but not everything should be scrutinised to fit the standards of superficial feminism. Everything must be questioned, sure… but not everything should be given a verdict against. In relation to my earlier mentioned lame metaphor of default settings, I say: Although we must explore and customise our defaults, it should not be a rule to de-default everything that naturally makes us happy.
The next time someone calls me beautiful, I wouldn’t fret that they’re complimenting something that I didn’t earn. They are complimenting who I am and how I make them feel. That is what being beautiful means. That is exactly what I’ve earned.
XO peeps! ( PS: you’re beautiful! ;) )
