I’m Breaking Up with Fear.

Fear is a liar. It really is. Fear is fake, the make belief kind of stuff you conjure up as a kid daydreaming about whether or not goblins and ghosts are real. Somehow, somewhere along the way this lie became our truth. And it has stopped a lot of people, who have big dreams to not only quit dreaming but give up entirely on trying to make them come true.

I’ve been guilty of convincing myself fear is real. Sure there are risks in chasing your passion, and the road isn’t easy because nothing worth having is simple. But what exactly is it that stops us from pursuing the things we love? Why do we stop? Some people lack the vision, others don’t believe in themselves but mostly a lot of us are just plain scared. Scared it won’t work. Afraid of failure, fearing we’ll let others down while we try to build our dreams up.

The only way to stop fear is by STOPPING THE STORIES WE CREATE IN OUR MINDS. The space between our ears can either be our best friend or worst enemy. Kicking out negativity takes a lot of hard work. It doesn’t happen overnight. Just like people put hard work in the gym to lose weight, it will take a mental transformation to break up with fear.

My break up with fear began with taking a leap of faith when I married the love of my life. Love, in my opinion is the answer to EVERYTHING. If we could love openly, we can do anything. But it’s not that simple is it? I’ve definitely done a lot of fearless things in my life, not to downplay the time I moved away from family and friends to pursue a career in television news, surpassing the fear of being LIVE on TV, and then jumping out of an airplane in the name of storytelling. I was afraid to do all of those things. Once I conquered the voices in my head, I got comfortable with being LIVE on TV, moving away from family again — it all became familiar.

Life is lived outside of your comfort zone. I stayed inside my comfort zone for a long time. Sure it sounds scary to be on TV. Some people fear public speaking more than death. Pretty sure that was in a Seinfeld episode. My point is — once we conquer one fear, we become stagnant and stay there, comfortably.

BUT we can’t grow without reaching for more. All the time. Only problem is there’s a lot of fake fear to get through along that journey.

Everybody’s fears differ. We all however have the same thing in common — we are scared to do something and that feeling only exists in our heads.

I’m hoping these HOW TO’s help you start the process of breaking up with fear.

Write your BREAK UP LETTER to fear. Yes, I’m serious. First you have to acknowledge you’re scared. Maybe you’re afraid to even admit you have fears that get in the way. What are your fears? What does that picture look like? Why is it important for the two of you to be done once and for all? What does fear stop you from doing?

PRACTICE GRATITUDE DAILY. After you declare your split with fear, begin to be mindful of the negative thoughts in your head. Every time you hear yourself talk badly about yourself, or the things around you, acknowledge these judgements and thoughts come from a place of fear. Now that you’re mindful, you can begin to replace your negative thoughts with positivity. I know it’s easier said than done, but something that helps me stay on track is writing in my gratitude journal. List 10 things daily you’re thankful for. It can be big or small, and some of them may be constant things you’re thankful for. Make it a habit. Once you jot down the feelings that make you smile, you will begin to notice a shift. Give it 30 days.

READ, LISTEN AND SPEAK. Everything you read should be uplifting. Everything you listen to should be infused with ideas made of greatness. And everything you say should be, for the most part positive. I understand this can’t happen 100% of the time. Realistically, I realize there’s a lot of negativity around us but I think being mindful and aware helps us block out some of this, if we can help it. And if we can help it — we should kick out negativity and replace it with positivity.

These are just 3 simple steps that are working for me. Facing your fears and letting go doesn’t happen overnight. Remember, it’s a journey. But it starts somewhere — maybe today. D

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