Will it work? — I’ve asked what it’s like to lead a life without depression. I don’t mean a life without bouts of depression. I mean, what’s it like not beating the Depression Monster residing within with a stale baguette each day just to function at the bare minimum when your status quo is…

It’s hard when you barely have the energy to function. — I wrote a piece about not seeking happiness and aiming for the low bar of Not Miserable. I Don’t Want To Be Happy, I Just Want To Be Less Sad I’m aiming low.medium.com It resonated with readers. I appreciate knowing that I’m not alone despite feeling isolated in the oxygenated haze of life. There was a time when I was a Married Single Mom, meaning I…

I’m aiming low. — It’s been two years since my divorce. Two years since I moved out of my marital home and shattered my kids’ world, in the hope of experiencing happiness. If I had known I’d be a bawling mess years later, I’d have stayed married. At least I’d be able to afford…

It’s like an uncontrollable switch. — I can’t fully describe the feeling of airports and planes, but I’ll try. It shouldn’t be hard, since I’m typing this while waiting for a delayed United flight. Even when I’m traveling for fun, air travel makes me sad. The airport represents a massive change from a state of being…

I wish I had stayed home. — I’m in the car with Carlos and he’s got the music at full blast. The current song is Holiday in Cambodia by Dead Kennedys. Play that on a loop for three hours, full volume, and let me know what weapon of choice you’ve selected to murder the driver. I’ve…

The only thing I genuinely enjoyed — Writing is my therapy. It’s all I’ve done my whole life to ease the noise in my brain. It’s the place where I’m brutally honest and unleash mental screams on paper. Or uh, on screen. It’s a bad sign when I’m too depressed to write. I’ve had a few interesting…

Finally learning the words for this emotional meltdown. — Writing is my outlet. I don’t write on Medium to pay my mortgage. I write here because it’s the modern-day version of the green diary I furiously scribbled in as a teenager. When I don’t have the motivation to write, there’s a problem. I have dozens of barely-started articles in…

Single mom income is the worst — I’m torn. I hated my marriage. I began hating my husband. I was emotionally ruined. My belief was “just raise the kids and then die”. I thought getting a divorce would give me a chance at happiness, unlike my prior situation. I didn’t anticipate the pain of not seeing my…

I’m a sobbing disaster right now. Will it ever get better? — When I was younger, my brother and I learned how to read the Quran, in Arabic, from a terrifying old man. Friday nights my dad would shlep us to Dr. Khan’s house. My brother and I weren’t close back then but those nights, we clung to each other for dear…