I’ve never been robbed.
Until today.
I met up with a friend at a park for lunch. The picnic benches were right by the parking lot. We joked about people breaking into cars, wondering if they noticed purses covered with hoodies in the backseat. Turns out, they do.
I beeped my car to lock it when I walked away. I’m positive that I did. I’m OCD like that. However, the car doesn’t show any signs of forced entry.
While eating, my phone starts buzzing with fraudulent charge warnings from Chase Bank. I don’t think much of it, I primarily shop…
It's so, SO hard to break thought patterns, I agree! I realized that I was spending most of my life trying to come up with all sorts of labels and psychology on the way my parents were in order to understand and make sense of their treatment of me.
Eventually, it was just easier to think "...or they just simply suck as parents. That's it."
After that point, it made it a lot easier to think that they had no business raising kids, raising ME, and that I'm not letting people with zero credibility in raising children determine my worth as a child (and now an adult).
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen my ex, Jon. Twenty-one days to be exact, but who’s counting?
This is the umpteenth time I’m back to getting over him. That fucker got under my skin.
Life moves on, and so has he. Despite the heartache, I’m making an ardent effort to wait 30 days since the last time I saw him before starting anything new with someone else.
I guess it’s a testament to how deep I feel for him and some weird commitment that I have to him, that while I’m in love with him I can’t easily…
As I type this article, I’m shoveling my favorite overpriced chocolates down my throat like a starving peasant eating gruel.
After years of a shitty marriage, I told my husband Joseph last year that I wanted out. I told him I wanted out in the middle of a fucking pandemic. With our children struggling with life as it is, I opted for a Parenting Marriage. That’s where both parents switch to coworker mode and live under the same roof for the sake of the kids.
It’s the least-worst option when two parents split up.
At first, it sucked. Badly. Lots…
I was Today Year’s Old when I was diagnosed with autism.
Since I unknowingly passed a chromosome disorder onto my son, who was diagnosed with it first, I’ve become a Ph.D. Ninja Master in all things autism and discovered how much I associated with the common traits.
Still, I wanted the formal diagnosis. Partially because I wanted to talk to my son about this experience as he gets older. Partially because I wanted to fill the circle between autism and the chromosome disorder. …
In fourteen days, it’ll be one year.
One year since the shutdown from the pandemic.
One year since I’ve had the biggest transformation than I’ve had in many years combined. I wanted to write “mutation” but I’m not at X-Men level. Yet. I’m committing to always being a work in progress.
One year since I threw a grenade at my marriage. Then picked it back up and barreled over everything slowly, with a tank.
One year since I was still happily in bliss with the guy I was having an affair with. I never thought that at this point I’d…
I’m around 16 or 17 years old, getting into one of many daily arguments with my mother. My default crime wasn’t swearing (while I curse on here, I never had the balls to do that as a teen) or wearing trashy clothes. My crime wasn’t about a boy or staying out late.
No, my default crime was plain ol’ teen angst. Angry that I couldn’t do all the fun things my “western” friends could do that were banned by my religious, immigrant parents, my attitude translated into sass.
I yelled something about how I couldn’t wait to grow up and…
This isn’t a fancy article for a publication. This won’t be proofread. There’s loads of typos. It’s just a raw dump of what’s been in my brain for sanity’s sake. Maybe the content will eventually fuel a formal submission, but for now…this isn’t it.
I’m going to say it: children on Zoom are the most fucking obnoxious creatures on earth. Specifically, first graders. I have lost all grace and patience with them today. …
It’s hard being a mom. Yes, before anyone comes after me, being a father is hard work too blah blah blah. But the mental load and extra work typically fall on the mother. There are studies on it. Google it if you don’t believe me.
And then Covid came along.
Any little bit of respite we had went out the window. If you had help from grandparents, they had to stay away for the sake of their health. Schools transitioned to a virtual model so not only did we lose the few hours the kids were out of the house…
This isn’t a fancy article for a publication. This won’t be proofread. There’s loads of typos. It’s just a raw dump of what’s been in my brain for sanity’s sake. Maybe the content will eventually fuel a formal submission, but for now…this isn’t it.
Today, I have not one but TWO in-person social interactions outside of my house. That’s the mental equivalent of going on a week-long booze cruise at this point. I had a socially-distanced lunch with a friend and this evening I’m doing a socially-distanced night of drinking with some other friends at one of their houses.
In…
My midlife crisis and adventures along the way. I write because in real life my humor is allegedly too sarcastic and inappropriate. MediumNinjaGirl@gmail.com