TL;DR: The ‘right’ decisions are relative to the person you decide to be.
I took my fair share of Moral Philosophy courses while attending UCLA, but it was hard to apply that knowledge into my immediate life. I am not here to sell you on some notion of ‘Right’ vs ‘Wrong’ necessarily, rather help you prioritize your life. Truth is, everyday you are faced with smaller life decisions. Most of them look something like this:
- Is this article worth reading?
- What time should I go to sleep?
- Should I answer Ash’s text immediately?
- What should I eat for lunch?
- When should I catch up on the work I have to do?
- What should I wear tonight?
- Should I ‘Like’ this Facebook comment?
If these small daily decisions are hard for you to answer, you probably haven’t thought of the type of person you want to be. And it really isn’t your fault. You were never forced to think about it. But you should start now.
Give your life a thesis
Most of the people you are surrounded by are making decisions for you. Either implicitly or explicitly, they are telling you how to live, what will make you happy, and shaping your definition of attractive. Stop listening.
It’s time that you design your own purpose. For starters, a genuine self-reflection will allow you to obtain insight into things that matter for you. It is often recommended to position yourself in complete solitude. This is probably because you are alone with your thoughts; unscathed by judgement from others. Conforming or agreeing with popular opinion is lazy, and will not be uniquely your own. Only you can figure out what is truly important in your life. Why? Because only you are inherently — you.
Methods for discovering your vocation can vary. You can try expressing what is important in your life through writing, meditating, reflecting (protip: done best in the shower), whatever. The method you choose to use isn’t as important as figuring it out itself. Perhaps many things are important to you. It could be providing for your family, reaching a level of fame, acquiring knowledge, crafting a skill, etc. Or more likely a combination of things. Explore your driving force inside and out. Obtain complete clarity over why you chose those specific things to be important to you. This means being as detailed as possible. The more detail you go into, the more your purpose will be deep-rooted.
Avoid common pitfalls: It’s easy to have a vague understanding of what you want. For example, many desire to make a lot of money. When asked why, they simply conclude it’s what will make them happy. Don’t do this.
Don’t let it be so easy for you. If you want to make a lot of money, why? What about money will make you happy? How important are those things that make you happy? What will you be giving up in return? Earnestly explore it until you have formulated something concrete.
Live by your thesis
Now that you have mapped your life’s thesis, use it as the underlying guiding principle for every future action you do . The answer to your questions are so much more obvious now. For example, should I answer my mom’s text immediately? Let’s see..
- If I claimed I wanted to be a good son,
- and being a good son constitutes answering my mom immediately.
∴ I should answer my mothers text immediately.
It is okay to change
You can change your life’s thesis anytime. Maybe you tried something new and uncovered a passion, or maybe you traveled to a new place and discovered a new way of life that really resonates with you. That’s fine. I encourage you to grow. But make sure you are aware of these changes of heart. If something becomes important enough for you, make an effort to change how it defines your future actions.
