Is there enough time to change career?

Last night I went to bed again with that dread and sickening feeling of having to face my employer again for another week.

I’m not overly happy in my job and I struggle to stay motivated during the week which has massively impacted my output. I feel guilty and shit and the worst part is that my boss is a fantastic person who I respect and do not want to let down. She works harder than any of my previous managers and I know that if I wasn’t feeling the way I have of late, we’d have such a productive and positive working relationship.

What changed?

Why am I no longer as zealous and productive as I once was?

Is there something I can do to change it and go back to the way I was?

I don’t know. But more important than that, I don’t think I need to flick a switch and go back to the way I was.

I’m starting to understand that this is simply one part of my life that is beginning to change. I’m 31 now and have had a reasonably successful mid to late 20s which allowed me to travel, work and live overseas, save some money and enjoy things for a while. The issue is, I don’t necessarily have enough money saved to just quit and explore my passion and more importantly than that, I have a sister and mum that are probably going to need my help in the not too distant future.

So what to do?

One option is to study. There’s a course I’m thinking of doing that only takes 13 weeks, costs nearly $15,000 and will give me a qualification that should land me a job earning a little less than I am now. After a year or so, my salary has huge potential for expansion and maybe I can live happily ever after. The best part of it all, I can probably save up some leave, then buy some leave from my employer and take a good 10 of those 13 weeks off as paid annual leave, meaning I never don’t have a job.

The issue is that I’m not entirely sure I can actually do this work. I’ve got next to no exposure to that industry and it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s too much money and time to spend on something I’m unsure about so an info session and introductory course should definitely help. I just need the discipline and commitment to see it through and that’s always the hardest part.

The way I see it, everything we do is a gamble that has potential for failure. It’s up to you to learn and do whatever you can to reduce that risk as much as possible. Once you’ve done that, say ‘fuck it’ and dive right in. If you fail, you did your best not to and gave it a shot.

Time doesn’t stop, so tomorrow you’ll have just as much of it as you had today. You’ll be a day older but old is relative and if you’re doing something to better yourself then nothing else really matters.