Would I say that the attempt to teach myself a language without any contact with a native speaker or a real life person was overambitious? Yes. The cyrillic alphabet is very difficult to master without putting yourself into daily contact with it. The letters really need to be reinforced daily or will just forget them purely due to their unfamiliarity. Thus, I have decided to delve into the murky world of language learning mobile phone apps in order to find a solution.

Smartphones and learning languages should, on paper at least, go very well together. They are the perfect tool to provide constant interaction with a language due to the fact that you always have one in your hand. Duolingo is the only app that I have come across that manages to provide a well structured experience and unfortunately they have yet to include Russian amongst their languages. However, I would definitely recommend it for anyone looking to learn any of the romance languages. It taps into the competitive streak in all of us as you recieve ‘rewards’ for your progress. It is easy to dismiss this system and you may scoff at the idea of learning based achievements but you don’t know the feeling of watching those ‘Lingots’ role in after a successful module completion.

The app I want should be very simple, purely focusing on letter recognition. The marketplace seems to be full of apps that claim to do a lot more than that, promising to teach you the language for less than the price. Of that I am quite skeptical. I just want letters. So far I have downloaded two apps. One is called ‘Russian Alphabet Mastery — Read Russian in three hours’ which is already reaching critical mass on my skepticism scale. The other is called ‘Azbuka Free’ and promises to “поможет ребенку выучить русский алфавит в игровой форме”. It appears to be for children and it seems that an owl and a demonic looking hedgehog are going to teach me some letters. I will report back on my progress next week.

The World Cup is nearly over and people still hate Arjen Robben. Every time he is fouled nowadays the opposition defenders make that little handgesture from their position way up their on Mount Morality. No team is without their divers. Perhaps Robben has simply perfected the art and that is why he is singled out for more criticism. I would also be of the mind that his exaggerated falls are also a means of protecting himself. This is the man who patented the glass knee. He is moving at speeds of 30 kilometres per hour, who can blame him for wanting to leap out of challenges. This article http://www.scientias.nl/brein-trapt-in-schijnbeweging-robben/12645 (in Dutch, just click translate) proposes that Robben’s movements are “slightly faster than conscious knowledge” i.e people are going to kick him even if they are trying not to.

Now, think of a whole career of that. Would you not want to avoid those kicks as much as possible? That is why I think that he subconsciously ‘dives’ most of the time. The foul will be committed but he is quick enough to avoid it. Thus, he is out of harms way but why should he have to lose a potential free or penalty because of his speed? The foul for the penalty versus Mexico is a perfect example. Marquez sticks out a leg, Robben could avoid it but is then off balance and at a disadvantage. Marquez hasn’t touched the ball or Robben but has prevented Robben from moving as he was, therefore it is a penalty.

Of course nobody wants to see diving, but those who imagine football without it are idealists. Results will always outweigh ideals. To those who would criticise Robben I would propose that they look at their own team where they will find players doing the exact same thing.

You can also decide for yourself: