WWYN: Number One

When I was in high school, there was this girl who was pretty popular. I didn’t have many friends in high school, in fact, I worried a lot about who I was going to sit with during lunch. On one occasion I even ate my lunch in the bathroom (yes, like Cady from Mean Girls). If only 15-year old me would know how trivial those problems are now, but I digress.

For some reason, this girl, Morgan, was really nice to me. She would always talk to me in class, and we would laugh together and make jokes. I was surprised because I didn’t understand why she would want to talk to me. I was quiet, shy, and conservative, the opposite of everything she was.

It was no secret that like many of the other kids considered “popular” in high school that she drank, smoked, and was promiscuous. At the time, I was so young and naive I thought that these behaviours were the worst thing you could to do. So I judged her, and wrongly so. She had never done anything bad to me.

My memory is a bit fuzzy considering this happened over six years ago, but one day, she told me during class that she had gotten drunk and “made out” with a girl. This was a shocking bit of gossip that I was surprised she would share with me.

I’m not sure how it happened, but I ended up telling someone what she had entrusted me to keep secret. She confronted me straightforwardly and asked if I had told someone. I denied it because I was scared and have never had anyone confront me before. She said that I was the only person she told, so there was no other explanation.

The next day, in class she would not look at me or talk to me. I felt so ashamed that I had shared her secret.

I judged her so harshly and labeled her as a “slut” that to me, I was not doing anything wrong by exposing her. Today, I know about “slut shaming” and how society holds double standards for boys and girls regarding sexual behaviour.

I feel so bad for betraying someone who was kind to me when she didn’t have to be. My 15-year old self thought she had bad morals, but what I did was far worse than anything she ever did.

Even though Morgan never really spoke to me again she taught me a few valuable lessons. I don’t judge people based off of their lifestyles and choose to judge people based off of their character and how they treat other people. I also have learned that if someone trusts me enough to tell me a secret, it’s my duty to hold it close to my heart.