5 Steps To Become a Better Man

A little over five months ago I found myself back living with my parents after a four month backpacking adventure around South America and California. I’d left England with the intention of sussing out San Francisco after being fortunate enough to receive a job offer and an offer of sponsorship for a VISA. For one reason or another, this didn’t work out as planned and soon enough I was lying in my childhood bedroom, aged 25 feeling sorry for myself. This is very unlike me. I’m typically pretty motivated. Be it career aspirations, artistic ambitions, sport or general goals, I tend to aim higher than I perhaps should. This all changed however. I soon became a little sloppy. I was gradually getting out of shape and for the first time in my life, genuinely didn’t know what to do next. The cocoon of University and travel had encompassed the previous seven years leaving me comfortable yet complacent.

After a couple of weeks of doing very little other than sleeping, partying and watching Netflix, I was in a bit of a hole. I had no job and no direction. I also had plenty of money, which didn’t help. There was no need for me to earn cash to sustain myself. After a few weeks of this I had a little moment of clarity. So that instant I drafted up a list of rules that I’ve lived by to this day. They seemed to help me, so with any luck, someone reading this may find some value in them, too.

1 — Be Passionate

OK, this one is probably the most important of the lot. It’s impossible to be attractive to anyone, be is for friendship or a relationship, if you lack passion. Well, unless you’re “really, really, ridiculously good looking”. But chances are you’re not Zoolander, so quit practicing Magnum in your bathroom mirror. People need interests and hobbies to be desirable to others. A constant drive to improve and succeed is incredibly sexy and a quality I look for in others. This spurred me to finally take my future career ambitions seriously. I’ve always had goals in terms of the position I aspire to achieve, but never had a plan of action to start the process off.

I also began to dictate more of my time to art. Painting is a passion of mine which affords me a lot of pleasure. I struggled to find the motivation to get back into the swing of things upon returning home, until I really forced myself to break out of my comfort zone. I started sketching concepts I initially thought I was incapable of creating. These ideas were more creative than anything I’d ever contemplated before and despite my nagging doubts, my skill and ability didn’t let me down.

2: Take Pride in Your Appearance

Now I don’t mean become obsessed with your aesthetic qualities. Nor do I mean become superficial and image obsessed. I just mean to care about how you look on a daily basis. Every single day. Yes, even when you are just popping to the supermarket. For me this started with creating a decent grooming regime. I’d fallen into a habit of doing the bare minimum to get by without repulsing anyone and everyone. This meant that I showered once a day and brushed my teeth. Other than this my cosmetics shelf was the home of spiders. A safe heaven for sticky webs; a graveyard for the poor unassuming insects.

This had to change so I went straight out and purchased the following;

A body groomer — gone are the days of my facial razor baring the burden of my entire body. I bought a groomer specifically for the purpose of trimming everything from the neck down. This makes a big difference. seriously.

Good quality skin care products — water wasn’t cutting it anymore.

Nice shower products — I admit that this eventually evolved into me using my girlfriends products way too often. But they smell so goooood.

I also invested in a new wardrobe. I probably spent way too much, but I had a good time doing so. I want to appear smarter in both a professional and social setting. Four pairs of shoes, seven pairs of trousers, a load of shirts, some jumpers, some blazers, two coats and some quality accessories later and I’d completely revamped my style for the better. Strive for that amazing feeling of confidence and pride after dressing every time.

3: Devote time to the people close to you

Time and effort should be invested in loving relationships with family, friends and partners. I’ve always been fairly good at this, but decided to ramp it up a little.

I started treating my parents to things. I sent them on a trip to Venice for my mum’s birthday recently. The look of shock on her face was priceless. They both returned feeling refreshed and relaxed. It was great.

I also stated to devote more time to my girlfriend. I started to pay attention to the small details, allowing for me to help her in small ways. For example I made a note of the sizes she wears by looking at her favourite tops, skirts, trousers, underwear and shoes. This is REALLY useful. It’ll also impress her when you get it right.

4: Be Confident

I’ve typically been a shy person. It’s never prevented me from doing anything, nor has it stopped me from meeting people. But it’s not an attractive quality and something that needed to go. I worked on it for quite some time over the summer, forcing myself into difficult situations. I started to carry myself with my chest out and improved my overall demeanor.

5: Take your health seriously

In general, the health of people in the UK is rapidly declining. Our diet is fucked, resulting in rising obesity figures. I’ve always been quite active and I typically eat well, but I’ve never made it a priority. I made the decision to stop eating meat about five months ago, which forced me to look at my nutritional intake in depth. I started eating a minimum of ten portions of fruit and vegetables per day, whilst paying attention to my intake of processed foods. As a result, I’ve dropped a lot of weight and become far leaner. I’ve worked on strength, fitness and flexibility extensively, which has only helped matter.

Being fit and healthy benefits your day to day life in so many ways. You feel more energetic and lively. You don’t tire halfway through the day. Sexual performance improves massively. Picking up your partner is effortless and they seem to like that…

So I hope these few tips have helped at least one person out there. They are by no means comprehensive, but it’s what I needed to hear during my time of laziness. So if you are in the same position and wish to do something about it, write your own list and step up your game. Future you will be thankful.