Here’s my advice from being fat for most of my life, starting with teen years, but no longer am at age 50:
Stop counting calories.
Eat whatever you want, whenever you want, in whatever quantities you want. Then, slowly and deliberately, start working on changing your wants.
The way to get morbidly obese over time is all about withholding, followed by craving, which leads to binging. Eliminating this is THE problem to solve.
Life should be fun. Enjoy holidays and all the rest, even if you gain a pound that day. Control the binge behavior, not the calories.