On being Non-Binary
So, I identify as an (AMAB) Non-Binary trans person.
Let’s break that down:
- (AMAB) — Assigned male at birth: When I was born, I had male genitalia and everyone called me male, as is expected (sadly) when one is born with male genitalia in this world. It’s in brackets because my genitals, and what I was assigned at birth is totally irrelevant to what I am now, and always will be.
- Non-Binary — I do not FULLY IDENTIFY as either Male or Female (are those even things any more? Fuck sake…). That means my current gender identity can be fluid, or one or the other (rarely in my case) depending on how I feel. This is fine and IMO perfect. I don’t fit into society’s definitions and expectations of Male or Female, and why should I? They’re a joke… A total and utter fucking joke, designed to keep male & female persons in their place, but more on that later.
- trans — My gender identity has changed from what I was originally assigned at birth, i.e. from a cis man (shudders), to a trans person. It’s also to show that I stand in solidarity & support with the trans community, and with that I include fellow non-binary, gender-queer and intersex people, should they so wish to be included. Basically anything other than cis. I’m not cis, I frankly don’t understand cis (and hetero) people (no… really) & in particular I don’t understand their obsession with destroying (lets not beat about the bush here) trans people & their gender identities.
- person — I am not a man, nor am I a woman. So I will use the gender-neutral person.
So now we’ve got that cleared up, let’s go into detail about what that means for me, and how I live my life.
Being trans (For brevity, I will use this term to refer to the whole spectrum of my gender identity, non-binary and all) is fucking awesome. Literally fucking awesome. It fills me up with joy & happiness every second I think about it. It gives me a platform to reject the (lets be honest, if you know me) totally inappropriate label of maleness & accompanying masculinity I was unfortunately saddled with at birth.
I mentioned above that I believe that traditional gender roles are put in place to force certain groups (women, disabled persons, minorities, the poor, the less naturally intelligent than others) into a position of submission in society, unfortunately slaves to those who have the privilege of a maleness, or a superior body, brain or bank balance. Society is naturally geared towards separating the privileged from the non-privileged, and sadly, despite the many advances of the modern era, such a system is still in place. It’s disgusting and must be dismantled, one way or another. Simply identifying as trans, and rejecting the natural privileges that being cis, white & male afforded me (My disabilities straddle both the physical and mental, unfortunately), is one big “Fuck You” to that system. I’m an optimist; I believe it’s dying & being dismantled, just at a glacially slow pace, and that’s being resisted against constantly by those privileged few in society, which sickens me. But as the old saying goes: “Every Little Helps”.
I’ve experienced quite a bit of hostility from binary people, and (upsettingly, because we’re all one big family) binary trans folk. Those that insist i’m just in denial and will “fully” transition to female when i’m older, almost as if being non-binary is just a phase. Well let me tell you that it’s not. It’s patronising and rude. You have no place questioning my gender identity that I have questioning yours. Maybe it’s how I dress? When I am wearing clothes (more on that later), I don’t have any attachment to what I look like frankly, and quite often will wear plain, T-Shirt & Jeans/shorts combos, simply because they’re the most practical and less likely to draw attention from others (of whatever sentiment). But that’s just me. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT! You’re non-binary and you wanna wear dresses all the time? Fucking go for it! You’ll look beautiful! As you will if you just wanna wear jeans all the time, or even nothing at all! Being non-binary doesn’t define my fashion sense or hairstyle, it’s simply a gender identity that I’m the most comfortable with, as it frees me from the toxic shackles of masculinity.
This article was written to the sounds of the first quarter of Pink Floyd’s album “The Endless River”.
