Malaise
Marrian-Webster Definition of Malaise:
1) an indefinite feeling of debility or lack of health often indicative of or accompanying the onset of an illness
2) a vague sense of mental or moral ill-being
I am grateful for my recovery and, more often than not these days, for my brokenness. Both continue to provide fertile ground for expansive spirituality. With the aid of my spirituality, I find that I am better able to actualize my spirit. My spirit provides the vision of the person I am striving to be.
Assuredly, it has not been an ascending linear line to sustained heavenly respite! No, it’s been more like an ascending, undulating line of peaks and valleys. In short, it often feels like three steps forward and two steps back. When in the darkness of the valleys, with the feeling of being cut off from the light, I feel as if I am waiting for the fever to break. Of late, these valleys can best be described as being in a state of malaise.
Awareness
Natural Consciousness
Being aware of these states of mind and feeling them fully is different for me today. In the past, I strove to chemically change the way I felt through substances like alcohol, illegal drugs, and legal pharmaceuticals. Today, I can see where these altered states, given my compulsive and addictive personality, were…
