Education, education, education

Bet you thought I was going to write about Gove right? No way am I going to write about that dirty little weasel here (ptooey) — instead I’m going to write about something far more pleasant. Periods.

Periods are refered to in a variety of different ways; Visits from Aunt Flo, Aunt Flo and cousin Red, Cousin Red. Having the painters/decorators in, march of the red army, time of the month, surfing the crimson wave, on the blob, on the rag, women’s trouble etc. My favourite is ‘visit from the fuck up fairy’ — because doesn’t she just.. However, ‘shark week’ has apparently been something I’ve used to describe it before. Clearly I thought it was a good descriptive to use to my children, although FYI looking for ‘surfboards’ for ‘shark week’ should never be shouted across a Boots store in public.

As a parent you are aware that once you have children, trying to pee in peace, or even do anything in peace, is an impossibility (no, I have chosen my words correctly, it’s not improbable it is impossible. Due to these reasons both my son’s are full understanding on periods, women, blood-loss, tampons etc. You name it, they know about it. Tampons can also be utilised to make good swords and nunchucks, if you’re ever having a rainy day with nothing to do. Anyway, one particular day I referred to it as shark week, and explained to my 6 year old why that was. He listened with interested, nodded sagely and went about his business.

Why am I mentioning this? Because like most things with DS1, things come around within time, and here we are. So recently as I’ve mentioned, TotM has been hell and constant. One morning, blurry-eyed and half-asleep my 7 year old DS1 walked in on me frantically clearing up (we have one toilet in this damn house, and the youngest still has a potty for emergencies). Anyway, as I was scooting off the loo for him I was greeted with a ‘God Mum, you don’t have shark week it’s megalodon week for you..’ Before I even had a chance to reply, he was gone — back to bed, eyes barely open.

My kids has smarts..

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