Nexplanon — just don’t

So, in the usual state of ‘holy hell what’s going on’ — I went to my GP for help with these ‘hormone’ things. Nobody likes talking about it — hell, half of the human race resents having it (or maybe I just resent it enough for half the human race, it depends what day you catch me on!), anyway, due to excess bleeding and mass amounts of pain he suggested the implant. I thought nothing of it, trusted medical advice and in it went.

Thus began hormone hell. The first week was OK, then the bleeding started. then the bleeding increased and increased. My joints ached, I was exhausted all the time, my cramps were horrific and so was the blood loss. Come Saturday I couldn’t cope anymore, was majorly depressed and considering removing it myself. My husband talked me out of it, and I rung 111 for advice.

I explained my symptoms to them, including the 5 weeks of high blood loss and they sent me immediately to out of hours Doctor for removal. I got there, I waited, and the Doctor refused to remove it. I rung 111 back in hysterics who did another assessment and sent me immediately to the city A&E department. I turned up in tears with my 7yr old. Explained the situation and that I had been sent by 111, that I was feeling suicidal and couldn’t cope (not normal reactions for me at all). They left me waiting for over an hour having given a urine test and I was told someone from the gynaecology department would come and see me.

What I actually got was a short Irish Doctor who didn’t give a crap. I explained my symptoms and what 111 had said. He told me there was no-one to take it out. I asked whether they had any sanitary products I could have as during the time I had been waiting I had gone through what I had and was in dire need. He told me there was nothing they could give me. He told me he would speak to his colleagues. I explained my symptoms again, the massive pain and huge blood loss for 5 weeks continuously, and reiterated what 111 had said — explaining that my only other option was to cut it out myself. He told me they wouldn’t help. I asked him if he was seriously sending me home feeling suicidal with a 7 year old in my care. He told me he couldn’t help me. We caught a taxi home, with me in floods of tears where my husband convinced me not to cut it out.

Sunday

Sunday came and I’d barely slept due to waking up constantly in pain, and needing to change in the bathroom. I managed til just after lunchtime before trying to remove it myself. Not as easy as it looks with only one hand.. The thing is, I knew damn well if I’d had an extra hand I could’ve got it straight out with minimal effort. Unfortunately that was not to be. I steri-stripped myself up having used a lot of antiseptic, and put a plaster on the top. My husband was not happy when he found out where I’d been, but then he doesn’t have this stick inside him. I promised him I’d go to a CASH clinic the next day

Monday

Rung my GP’s who told me they don’t remove the implant and to contact a CASH clinic. I went on the NHS website and found one that was open. I rung them and they’d no appointments left but I was told there was a drop-in from 11 onwards. I explained the situation and that I needed the implant removed ASAP. I was told to turn up and it would be removed.

I turned up at 11am and waited an hour to be seen. When I was finally seen I was led into the office and before I could even give her my symptoms I was told they would not be removing my implant. I was told that I needed a counselling appointment and that drop-ins don’t get their implant removed. I explained that when I had rung that morning that’s not what I’d been told and that the services they offered were removal and I wanted it removed. I was refused. Again.

So if you’re thinking of getting the implant — don’t. Unless you want to have to remove the damn thing yourself.

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