I found out later. One of my brothers had several people show up at his house from his church. One of the guys said He felt they needed to pray for one of his siblings, a younger one. I am the only one younger. 
Unbeknownst to him at the time. I was at a point where addiction had won. I was angry and full of hate. I hated myself. I hated God. I hated the guy that forced a needle in my arm. I hated myself even more for not having the strength to overcome it from the beginning. 
I set out to kill him and then myself. 
I did not do it. 
I forgave him instead. 
have faith young man. No one said the path is easy, just that it is worth the reward in the end.