The Rage Of Molestation

While America gets on board with the #metoo and #whoisyourharvey phenomena, I would like to remind everyone that adult women are not the only people who have been, and continue to be, sexually harassed and assaulted.

As a result of childhood sexual abuse, I developed into a young woman so “CRAZY” that I was on 19 pills a day by my late 20s, but even that large amount of mind-altering medicine couldn’t stop me from having flashbacks, nightmares, and memories of things that were not pleasant. When the DR proposed a 20th medicine to protect my esophagus from the damage occurring from my daily pharmaceutical soup, I stopped everything cold turkey and my mind has been in constant struggle since.

Ironically, the people who hurt me, both with direct actions OR thru neglect of action, are the people who now pop pills and wine bottles to forget their own ethical and moral crimes, but it won’t work.

ONLY the truth will set them free.

Sounds cliche? Maybe that’s because it’s true!

As I tell my personal stories I feel better. This is my catharsis. Every time I let it out I feel a little better. After purging the words, my disassociation usually kicks in and I forget all about it until something triggers me again…

Like the current Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment and assault fiasco.

The #MeToo movement has sparked a staggering 24 million and counting, all victims who probably feel good to lift the veil of shame.

To others like me, though, it leaves nothing more than a bad taste, knowing that only recognizable and news-worthy women will be discussed and protected in the future, in the workplace.

Meanwhile young children who live with sexual abuse, assault, rape, and incest will be left to the wolves, so to speak, with the hopes that they are not completely psychologically and emotionally broken by the time they are old enough to leave the unsafe “home.”

The fact is there are millions of people who are the victims of childhood molestation.

People like me, with dysfunctional and incestual families that indoctrinated compliance with force, and in the long run instilled a set of broken knowledge: maladaptive beliefs and illogical thought processes.

My father, the guy who indoctrinated us with male superiority, also talked about what we were supposed to do if a snake bit us, including sucking on any part of the body that was bitten. My brother snuck in my bedroom at night and bit me, while “touching” me AND another completely different brother confessed to “doing things” to me when we shared a bedroom: I was only 5 and so do not remember. My Uncle used to pinch me (hard) in the chest and vagina, while pretending to play with me in the pool or the ever-so-dreaded tickling. The neighbor used to leave notes in the mailbox for me, saying how he watched me blossom into a flower he would like to smell.

This was all before age 14, when I ran away from home and had my first non-family member assault. By then I had what the psychologist termed as “a high tolerance to negative behavior,” something that made me a target to other deviants who recognized my weakness and subservient qualities.

Many years have passed since then, yet it feels like a slap in the face every time I remember there are children still living in those conditions, with mothers who should protect their children instead of scapegoating, or proliferating the belief that the child has an overactive imagination, or, is just trying to start a problem.

According to there are 60,000 cases of child sexual abuse per year, and they also tell us that 48% of victims are sleeping or in the home. Millions of child victims over the last century, but still we believe parents should be allowed to raise children in the environment they wish and use discretion in whether to report a familial accusation.

It is sad and shows you how despicable the average American citizen has become. How the elite and entitled care about nothing but themselves, to the detriment of children.

I can only say that on this day, I can only hope that the studies on the current Hollywood victims as well as a new concept of “polyvictimization” will SOMEHOW lead to us connecting the dots — and start protecting YOUNG PEOPLE as well as they do adults.

**NOTE. This is a drastically edited version of this piece, the more personal and ranting version can be found at:

Originally published at on June 6, 2016.

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