Memoirs of a Former Teenager
It just occurred to me that I am now 21. A boy…. a man my age has already accomplished a lot by now. 79% of college undergraduates were aged 18–24 last year so they probably finished or are about to finish college. Most have their shit together or at least have found their purpose in life. Then there’s me, watching 4 movies a day as my greatest achievement.
I’ve come across a web series called ‘People Watch’ on YouTube a few weeks ago. There was an episode where they show you that no one in this entire planet is alone. So according to that theory, there’s some guy out there who still thinks he’s 18 even though he’s in his 20’s, doing retarded shit with no sense of direction or who they are and drowning in self-loathing just the way I am. They’re probably born in a different country, a different social structure, environment and people with different thoughts, hell, they might even be nothing like me, yet they feel the same way I do, yet we share the same thoughts.
What does that really say about me? Am I unoriginal? Not unique? Just a face in a crowd of billions? But I feel so different, so better than many of the people I know and most times so many of them are so much better than me. How come we’re all just looping around in circles with the same problems which other people already solved? How come we’re so similar yet so different? These are some of the questions I can’t even fathom, let alone answer.
21 year old me is lost, out of his mind confused and still thinks the next year will be 2014. But as the wise would advise there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s a solution only when there’s a problem and problems are the only thing I have in my possession at this point of time. I’ve been mocked about these questions so many times, “That’s what you think now, wait till you get older.”, “I remember when I used to think like that.”, “Don’t worry kid, it goes away.” Where does it go away, really? What did you really go through? How did you get out of it? If you’ve asked the same questions, why the fuck would you not tell me what’s up? Why is everyone so skeptical about everything? So demeaning, it’s like they want to be in a boxed cage and take everyone around with them. Everyone follows the piper and the ones who don’t are the failures. You must walk the path of the proved sadmen and be happy about it.
This next few years will be a turning point in my life and something tells me I’ll take the road I should not. A road some will say “less traveled” and the others will say it’s not a road at all but a cliff thousand miles above my inevitable failure. Win or lose all I want is to enjoy every minute of the journey or the fall.
I’ll start to think of myself as Christopher Columbus and I advise you do the same. Fail to find India and find an even better land of “The New World of Americas”. If all else fails, just blame it on the Indians.