I AM THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED

I am thinking of getting married. I am getting older now and I am thinking it is high time I settle down, you know that kind of stuffs.

They say that if you have been crushing on someone for more than 6 months, it is no longer a crush. Well, I have been liking some guys now and it has been over a year that I have been liking them. I think if you like someone like that, you should tell them because it is no longer just your like. It is their like too and you cannot be holding people’s property like that and tighting it to your chest for what kind of attitude is that. Yes, I think it is high time I tell them how I really feel.

Like I said, there are 3 guys.

Why are you opening your mouth? A body cannot be limited by numbers when their Oesophagus is telling them things. Yes, it is my Oesophagus because the feelinz as I mentioned have been growing. First, they were in my stomach and they are now moving to my heart. They are yet to arrive because I cannot categorically say which of them I will end up with so they are stuck in my Oesophagus for now. Stop asking me many questions, you are distracting me.

You might recognize the recipients of my feelinz. They are very popular. I will mention them then tell you why I like them.

One is Treysongz. Choi, I like this guy very much. He has a lot of swagger on stage and he is very fine. He has 6 pack too that our children can inherit. If we marry, people will call me Mrs Songz which is a very fine name, you will admit. The only problem I have with him is that he doesn’t have a lot of respect. He came to Lagos last time and off his shirt for all of the whole Lagos girls to be looking at his stomach. Then he went away without coming to Abuja to see my father. I believe sha that I can manage all of this when we settle down.

Next feelinz person is Optimus prime. I used to like the way that guy will be forming badoo up and down in the movie. He is very strong and talented gaskiya. If we marry, I will be commanding Bumblebee and all the others and we will move to Cybertron and leave all of this naija wahala behind. No fuel scarcity in Cybertron. The only problem I have is they will now be calling me Mrs Prime which is sounding like some type of red meat and I don’t want. We can resolve all of that sha.

The third person is Falz tha badt guy. I am liking the funny way he is singing his songs and I am liking to get to know him better. The only problem is he is liking celebrities too much.

Honourable mention is Adekunle Gold. That one is fine but pride will not allow him to reply when you mention him on Twitter. He is there pursuing Sade up and down. Who Sade don epp?

So, as I was saying, I am ready to be settling down with any one of these guys. The world as we know is now a very dangerous place and I have done my research on them and they are single. But one can never know. So I will be sharing their pictures on the internet. Please look at them and tell me whether they are anybody’s boyfriend, husband or grandfather. I anticipate any information you have for me so that I can implement my seduction tactics for the final one.

Many thanks in advance.

P.S: This is a humorous post. Don’t go and report me to these people, edakun. Thanks.

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