A letter

To the boy i met 8 years ago

To the boy who’s been a friend for 6 years

To the boy who gives selflessly

To the boy whom i have hurt

To the boy whom i had lost

To the boy who came back

To the boy i will always be grateful for

To the boy who has loved me for 5 years

To the boy who continues to love me

To the boy i am learning to love


Dear you,

If you happen to stumble upon this post, please don’t think you are confined to these labels, you are and always will be, so much more. The English vocabulary will not, cannot contain you. This was supposed to be a letter of sorry’s and thank you’s but you never liked it when i hung on to the past. So, i’m going to write instead for the present and a little bit of the future.

If you listen carefully, you would be able to hear my heart thanking you for touching the deepest, darkest part of my soul.

If you smell acutely, you would be able to smell the pheromones dancing on my skin, desperately trying to get your attention.

If you look closely, you would be able to see all the parts of my brain lighthing up in response to all the things you make me feel.

You were always looking for affirmation, but i could never give it to you. You see, words don’t come easily from the hole between my lips, because of the hole in my heart. I feared that i wouldn’t be good enough, feared that you would finally see me for what i am and leave, feared that i would see me for what i am but have nowhere to go.

However, in this letter, when my heart is unafraid, where time is frozen and my words are true, these are my words for you. You are brave, brilliant and beautiful. You are good, honest and intelligent. You are strong, sincere and sweet. It is my honour to be loved by you. I pray that i will be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. The way God meant for a woman to love a man, or in our case, for a girl to love a boy.

Always,

Yours.