Things I never said to my father

1. I am terrorized by life some days on other days I want to hug it and soak all of it in, with my eyes open and mouth wide.
2. who do you lie to me for? why do they want you to let the truth stew in your mouth.
3. sometimes. sometimes it just hurts.
4. what do I do on the days when I feel like there isn’t anything left to give.
5. Thank you for coming this far. I love you.
6. I don’t think we believe in the same God.
7. You want to make a man a man? You kill him.
8. I have become lightning. Watching my spirit break long before I can hear it.
9. The tremors of anger may shatter us into action but the insanity of fear is what keeps me going.
10. Your mother once told me not to trust the people closest to me. I wish I listened.
11. Don’t cry.
12. Hold out your hands. Let us pray.
13. Cry.
14. I have learned to forgive but not forget. This man or any other.
15. Home is everything I want to be for myself.
16. I love you. You beautiful, sad man. I love you.