“For Colored Girls Who’re Considering Giving Up, When Black People Don’t Give a Fuck!”

I have no preconceived ideals about what I am going to write this week. I was searching my heart, my SPIRIT on what I should bring forth…I’m hella late even beginning this blog entry, according to my personal timetable. Nonetheless, I am here. I am here because the title that you just read that reeled you in; it has also reeled me in when it silently screamed in my inward counsel: ”PICK ME!” So reluctantly, yes not too thrillingly, I began this intention of language as if to answer back: “Ok, ok, you have been chosen!”

I have been obedient to this nudging, and so much is coming into my heart and head as I write these very words. I am realizing I need to write honestly, though I always do… But right this very moment, I am sensing there is resistance in me today, that doesn’t want to reveal everything that needs to be revealed. I am kind of forcing myself to flow right now… The flow is easy, and so is putting a plug on that flow, when I don’t feel like emptying out. In any case, I must be forthright in this post as much as for me, as for any person, no matter how you may identify — There is importance in this space, in these words, and the words that will continue to come forth…Every single character and line that will hit this screen; purpose.

I think I am what one might a call, an optimistic melachonist… A realistic dreamer… A long-suffering agitator… A beautiful warrioress not stopped by fear… A prophetic omen who is too sensitive… A short-tempered unflappable… I’m proud (sometimes unbalanced), full of love, annoyed easily & not with the shit, whilst remarkably strategic; reluctantly patient… I am all of these things and more…Complex and full of revolutionary love. I am sure that many of you are just as colorful in your own distinct ways… Only you can properly describe your truth.

My truth right now is that I am so sick of my own people. I love y’all, all of y’all in ways that causes action… RELENTLESSLY -UNCONDITIONALLY-ENDURINGLY. But let’s be honest, some of our people don’t want to be better (character wise), than the foulest shit in the tank; this is exhausting AF! I and a host in this realm and the other realms… Many have risked a lot for our collective good. Truth is, I am confused on how to continue to proceed, and this makes me feel guilty, ashamed, sad, worthless… I don’t know how to help us anymore — Besides artistic expression… Maybe that is all I can do? I’ve already risked my very life a few times, and had I transitioned on; it wouldn’t have helped the struggle. We just aren’t in the place we need to be for sustaining tangible victories. This is sad, especially for every genuine soul who has been on this battlefield, some longer than I have been on this earth.

I am willing to do more, as I have always previously done. However, we are not really ready for more, nor are we really ready for revolution… Let’s keep it real! So…How do I, or anyone else who feels like me… How do we maintain, watch over, and participate in the righteous radical tradition passed down to us, when there is very little air, and very little space in which to move? We can’t go backwards, and become a willingly soul-blinded, “go along to get a long” type of participant in this corrupt and racist system. At the same time, lack of unity is preventing us from truly actualizing what we could if we were one in spirit — Maybe it’s my job, and the job of others, to be a place holder and preserver of truth, for those who will be able to actualize liberation in real and lasting ways in the future? I dunno, I really don’t.

As the movie about one of my favorite Ancestors( Nat Turner) has finally been made available, the unapologetically rapey history of the writers of the screenplay, and the concern that the movie has more historical inaccuracies, than realities about Nat Turner’s actual life…Those of us who bring up these facts ( just look it up/research) have been the subject of ridicule from many of our people, who question how dare we “diminish” this movie and be “saboteurs” *cue scary music* of it… ’Cause apparently, only BLACK movies matter to so many of our people, right? SMDH! Too many insensitive people in our community, have decided to turn off their hearts in knowing that rape victims and sympathizer’s feel some sort of way about all of this… Understandably conflicted. So many of our own people have not been willing, on any level, to understand how the revelations about these two men could create angst, and how much seeing a slave rebellion on screen (in historical context); how that could have meant even more to a BLACK Person affected by rape, if the writers hadn’t gotten off for participation in rape acts. And no, ignorance would NOT have been bliss…Only dishonest, uncouth, ignorant ass people think like that… All this was revealed for a reason…I will get more into that later in this blog.

So many of our people have shirked the responsibility of thoughtfully engaging the subject of rape culture within the BLACK Community, an ongoing up-mountain battle… Maybe this is why it was easier for so many to choose defending a movie, over choosing to understand our sisters and brothers who have experienced soul death in the form of rape. Folks acting like they don’t understand why people could boycott this film, when we attempt (because most won’t participate) boycott’s all the time against anything that is racist. Instead, many have chosen ways to canonize Nate Parker, and blame the victim who killed her self a few years after “that night.” It wasn’t/isn’t a problem, to me at least, that you went to see the movie. The problem is so many of you have decided to show that we don’t understand our duty to one another… That willful ignorance is the chosen form of pseudo black liberation for way too many in our community.

By the way, in case you are fuzzy about the facts: These two men who wrote Birth of a Nation ( Nate Parker & Jean McGianni Celestin) admitted to having forced sex with an unconscious girl, and the fact that they put a rape scene in the movie… A scene that doesn’t line up with Cherry’s (Nat Turner’s wife) actual life — Setting the intention for the rebellion on Nat wanting to avenge her, when that wasn’t his motivation because it didn’t happen like that… That… All of that; it was just a fantasy of Nate Parker.

Lawd, if we can’t be meticulous enough to at least make sure Nat Turner’s motivations are truthfully depicted… Then WTF are we doing here? Depicting a slave REBELLION is hella important work… Seeing our people fight back instead of being degraded and mauled…. This radical BLACK Womban wanted to see it too! But check this out, just because it is important work and long overdue, that does not mean it should be done haphazardly, or that other issues blown up in the winds should be disregarded. Dr. Alexander who is an expert on African American History & Movie Accuracy wrote on all of this in great detail here… Please check it out.

The problem is we know that white people lie, misappropriate, erase, and diminish our stories all of the time; mostly as a form of psychological warfare and control. Not only do we have this white erasure occurring, we also have BLACK People who do not have integrity in telling our stories, when we know how dire it is for our people. Look at that horrible Nina Simone Biopic that came out this past Spring. We all agreed that we weren’t with the shit, and though there was a white director, it was the Nigerian-Brit who Played Dr. King in Selma who was the executive producer… Yes, a BLACK man who should’ve known and wanted to do better…Ugh! Why he would decide to allow Nina to be done like trash is such a deep subject, one that will need its own blog entry! He gave zero cares, fucks, or fly-by’s; refusing to hold sacred space and integrity in maintaining our very revered and precious to us, Nina Simone.

Movies are often the 1st impression many will have with a subject matter, if they aren’t readers… And let’s be honest, most people don’t read, or can’t read for a myriad of legit reasons. Yes, movies are important. They are great ways to bring forth truth, help connect the dots between the imagination and reality…They can be beacons of light or darkness… It all depends on the storyteller and their integrity level — And BLACK People, we should know this more than anybody, and this is why we are without excuse when we don’t take care with our own history…Why put out misinformation about the pillars of our struggle and existence, when white people are already doing it perpetually? How does that empower? How does that educate? Seeing BLACK People on the screen is important, and likewise, never should our narratives be sacrificed, especially not by us.

Yes, it is WONDERFUL that our Ancestor’s name, the great Nat Turner is ringing throughout the land. He deserves to be fully known, and for us not to place anything on him that isn’t true, or that misleads the very fabric of his part in our his & her story… His life’s work is too important to our self-determination and peoplehood, even in present times. We understand that no movie is 100% accurate, but it is not asking too much, and should be understood, that movies must be mostly accurate when telling historical stories, or they miseducate… Do you want folks to be miseducated about BLACK History when the oppressor works hard to do that daily? I don’t! Regardless, a positive is that some will still be intrigued enough by the movie to go study the subject matter more in depth, unfortunately most won’t. We praise the CREATOR for Nat Turner, so why should he be reduced to fiction when his reality is breathtaking and soul stirring? Why? And why are so many of y’all ok with it?

So… I bring up this issue( the movie & Nate & Nat) because it is fresh and still evolving… It isn’t, in and of itself… It isn’t why I feel ”confused” about how to proceed with us( BLACK People) and our fight toward more BLACK Liberation, or how all of this makes me feel just plain ole’ sad. The turmoil of trying to stay afloat and not succumb to the quicksand-like cognitive dissonance all about us, whilst trying to keep everyone around me from sinking too… It’s a lot to handle. I think what is bothering me at the core is that my people and I aren’t free, because we won’t unite, and because we avoid the pruning needed for our collective development.

See, what is really getting to me is that we continue to allow every opportunity we are given, to hold dialogue and spring forth ways we can help eradicate rape/molestation culture in our community, better preserve and protect our stories, our narratives, and so many other issues… Every damn time it seems we group-sabotage the process with avoidance culture. I am not sure if avoidance culture is a term coined by anyone in particular, but this is how I am describing what I see in our community at this moment. It is much like other sub-cultures within our community, that have a negative and growth stunting effect on us as a people. It intersects bad character, respecter of persons aka “celeb/notable person getting free passes to be destructive”, rape/molestation, mutual generational disrespect, misogynoir, etc…All of these issues are really so complex that they are sub-cultures within our community with lives of their own; preventing us from getting further along.

All of this is particularly disheartening to me… Why, some of y’all may ask? Well, it’s disheartening because it has been like this for so many years, and we will stay stuck like this, traveling in the wilderness perpetually in circles, until it matters to the majority of us… Right now, it simply doesn’t. We are in desperate need to unite in order to fight the Amerikkkan Terrorism that is suffocating us as a people — Sadly, we aren’t even getting in the ring in this fight… Not really like we could if we changed our hearts and way of thinking. The possibilities are endless with renewed and culturally educated minds, realigned and high-vibing hearts and spirits. This is really the key that would open all doors for us… Would and could, but… We are… Here.

And what’s worse… Those genuine efforts amongst us are drowned out by the majority in our community, who’d rather not do the tough inward work we must ALL do…Collectively and individually, in order to attain the greatness we once had, and then surpass even that.

In a previous blog a few months back, I wrote about the Nate Parker situation at length… Check it out by clicking the word “blog” in the first sentence of this paragraph. I can’t speak for anyone else, but let me help you better understand what is irking the hell out of me, like I promised I would. It isn’t that people are going to see the movie per se… Maybe that is only 10% of my angst at most, honestly speaking… Understandably people had to make this complex decision on their own…. These were at least my sentiments before finding out the movie wasn’t really telling Nat’s story, that brought on a whole other set of issues as I have already elaborated on…

My problem is that Mr Belafonte, Jesse WIlliams, and a host of BLACK men and woman who may not be well known, but matter just as much…They made seeing this film and promoting it an obligation of BLACKNESS, and actually have pushed for us to avoid discussing the rape… Throwing it to the infamous hush culture so prevalent in our community. BLACK People know exactly what I am taking about when I say hush culture… Ask a question that surrounded something you didn’t know was a secret in your family, and it was hush…Question wrongdoing by prominent people, the community as a whole wanted you to hushHush hush hush — Well damn it, I will not hush!

Men, women… It doesn’t matter. So many continue this sickness in our community… Aways sacrificing the most vulnerable, the victims, and the most affected to the winds… In order to maintain an image to whom though? I say, if you do participate in these harmful subcultures, I declare you are not doing it to protect our people, but rather you are doing this to maintain an image for white people. I get the tactic of not airing all of our business before the enemy, and still, we have to rightly fix issues, even if others get front row seats because we let it go on too long… It is what it is… We’ll be all the better for properly healing our own community.

I’m not gonna mince words, because I never do… I don’t care how militant and pro-BLACK you say you are — Why are too many of y’all always throwing some of us away like bath water that’s been used by 5 people, just to maintain the facade of one amongst us, who is in the spotlight? Why? Answer me, damn it! This is pure and utter trash can! This is called community destroying, and for every step we take forward, this avoidance culture and every subculture it intersects; it’s killing us. I get that we as BLACK people have had to work so hard to achieve everything… I get why people want to protect achievements. I am here to say that achievements are not more important than the holistic health of the people in our community, and how we deal with one another.

And oh, let’s talk about this real quick… I am “Fannie Lou Hamer-ed” to the bones… Sick and tired of being sick and tired of those in our midst, who want to explain away the wrong doing of Nate Parker, Bill Cosby, R-Kelly, and so many others — Doing so by invoking the name of a white person(s) who does/is doing the same crimes… Boy o’ boy, If y’all don’t get! I am so tired of y’all talking all this BLACK Liberation bullshit, when it is proven to be devoid in your soul, when all you do, all the live long day, is compare our people to white people, and what they are getting away with. There is no community building without integrity and standard… Our standards have to far surpass that of the oppressor, or we won’t ever be shit! Why have people actually defended Nate by saying, “Well Bill Clinton is a rapist and got away with it…” Ok, what the fuck does that have to do with our people, and building ourselves up? Oh, so you want BLACK Men to be able to rape and get away with it, because Bill Clinton did… Is that what you’re saying? Is that the freedom you are fighting for? ’Cause real talk, that’s really what you are saying when such filth comes from your mouth…WHITE 👏🏿PEOPLE👏🏿 DO👏🏿NOT👏🏿SET👏🏿OUR👏🏿STANDARDS👏🏿 — — — — — So stop this, now!

Timing or no timing, had Nate and the co-writer of the screenplay not forced themselves on an unconscious girl; there would be no case to surface. What they did to this girl is not at all comparable to the many BLACK men who have truly been falsely accused of rape or other crimes. Both Nate and Jean admitted to what happened, claiming they didn’t know it was wrong? o_0 Jean was found guilty, and Nate only got off because he could prove he had sex with her before, when she was conscious and willing…Ain’t that some shit?

It would have been oh so clutch to not feel like, for the umpteenth time, that only prestige &/or money matters to the people in our community…That prestige &/or money can be used as tools to silence victims and those facing oppression from the people in our community. I believe this whole Nate Parker/ Birth of a Nation situation was a test, and an attention grabber by our Ancestors; chiefly Nat Turner himself — We have failed this test AGAIN, and we have had the opportunity to take it over and over throughout the years. BLACK women and girls, victims of all sorts and kinds… Of every gender and orientation… We all gotta matter in the BLACK community, or none of us will be here; we’ll be too divided to protect one another. And BLACK men, I love you. Please understand that this bro culture shit is like a bullet being shot through the fabric of our collective quilt… You have a powerful say in putting your wayward bro’s in check… BE silent, no more!

And like I said previous, so many of us are reading the tea leaves wrong… My Ancestor Nat Turner was a righteous man… Making a film about him is an invocation. Oh… I get it. Many ain’t think he was gonna show up, seeing his children not getting his heart set quite right, something that would seem to be very important to our Ancestor. Do you really think Ancestor Nat Turner wants us to continue to not deal with the rape, hush and avoidance cultures that continue to plague our community? Do you think our Ancestor Nat was gonna let his son Nate Parker get away with some bullshit, and not deal with his inner demons and “so what-isms” concerning his actions? Especially by Nate portraying him… Come on now! You must gotta know better, and if not, I respectfully say you may have the Ancestors all the way fucked up then! Pftttttt!

Ancestral energy has been strong concerning all of this, baby cakes — This energy has been misinterpreted in my humble estimation! I totally believe everything resurfaced about what Nate & Jean did; it all came up for many reasons, and he( Nat Turner) wanted things set right. But alas, silly us…We haven’t enough spiritual desire for deeper insight on most days… To know when we are being attacked, or when we are being chastised… To know when we are being harassed, or when we being asked to get ourselves together… Ancestors don’t just bless, they correct us too! They love us… All of us… Nate Parker too!

So… This realization, using this current situation with Nate Parker and all things concerning the Nat Turner Movie as an example of the mindset of our people… All of this just exemplifies that I just don’t know what to do or say anymore. I mean, I will continue to speak truth, and create art that lifts and teaches my people wherever the destination height or depth…I am afraid even with doing that, if we do not hear the alarm being sounded, and do more to fix our heart set; we’ll be doomed. I feel like with all the truth that any one of us can provide to our people; what will it do if it isn’t able to penetrate the walls of stone… Walls that prevent us from truly loving and caring and protecting one another…Walls that prevent us from seeing each other as an extension of ourselves, therefore not willing anyone or anything to hurt or destroy who we are… I dunno y’all… It just makes me wonder…

In Unashamed Négritude & Revolutionary Love,

ORIT

ORIT © 2016

All Rights Reserved


Originally published at oritvibes.blogspot.com on October 9, 2016.