Directness is a Communication Style, Not a Microaggression
When I moved from New York to Maryland in 2005 as a 17 year old starting off at University of Maryland, I got punched in the face and neck at least three times. This article critically examines the socio-linguistic factors that lead to those instances of physical violence in response to my discourse in the context the work of three scholars: Franz Boaz’s seminal Cultural Relativism, Pinker’s Language Pragmatics, and Mallinson’s work on Baltimoreses. The objective here is to critically self-reflect to identify the ways in which, even after more than a dozen years living outside of New York, the communication style and patterns I developed as a young person continue to clash with dominant mores as a Yankee in Lord Baltimore’s court.

First, it is important to identify myself, my cultural background, and the primary social milieu against which I will be contrasting my communication style. I am an Ashkenazi Jewish man — that means I’m White and. I am straight, middle class, and hold an advanced degree (MA TESOL) as do both my parents. I lived on Manhattan’s Upper West Side until I was four and then in Nyack, NY til I was 17; then College Park (MD), Oakland (CA), Central America (mostly Suchitoto, ES), DC, and for the past four plus years, Baltimore, Maryland. My father was born and raised in Brooklyn and Staten Island and has never lived further from NYC more than 10 miles longer than a semester. My mother was born and raised in Sedalia, MO, left the Mid-West as soon as she could, and lived in Eugene, OR and rural Sweden before living the last 2/3 of her life in or near NYC. New Yorkers are direct, right?, so I’ll get to the point soon, I promise.
I will primarily contrast this cultural background with that of Maryland White Middle Class Culture (MWMCC), drawing distinctions between the friction that occurred in my interactions with friends and strangers from that culture and the relative lack thereof with friends and strangers of Maryland and DC’s Black and Latinx cultures, who so far have not punched me in the face or neck. My point isn’t that I was/am right and MWMCC were/are wrong to punch me in the face and neck or take offense in other less violent forms to my communication style.
Trust me, if I think someone is wrong, I tell them directly. My point is that if we believe in the bedrock concept of Cultural Relativism, the directness of urbanites from the Philly-to-Boston corridor is not a microaggression — unless you believe those folks are living in a constant state of microaggressing and being microaggressed against, and there may be some truth to that — but a culturally specific communication style that should be valued alongside Southern politeness and Mid-Western niceness, which both manifest in MWMCC with a peppering of Northeast braggadocio mixed in.
To the Point in a New York Minute
Three Violent Experiences of a New York Yankee in Lord Baltimore’s Court
Comparisons of MWMCC, African American and Latinx Cultures in the DMV
Conclusions and Next Steps
