Phillip A. Griffiths
Director of the Institute for Advanced Study
Princeton, New Jersey

Dear Dr. Griffiths,

I am interested in becoming a member of a think tank. But, because I do not know how to become a member of a think tank, I thought that I'd write to you. Actually, it was my friend Larry's idea to write to you. Me and Larry play checkers every Wednesday night and we do lots of thinking. Well, one day I said to him “I'd sure like to become a member of a think tank, but I don't know how to become a member of a think tank,” and he says “why don't you write to somebody who cares? King me.” So that's what I'm doing. I am writing to you. I am also
including in this letter a problem that I feel needs researched. I came up with it an hour ago and I hope that it will show you that I have been thinking indeed! I also thought that if you liked the following, then you might offer me one of them fellowships thingies, or perhaps a bumper sticker that says something really clever. My research topic follows as such:

One - If a person had the ability to toast bread by just looking at it, should that ability fall under the category of “super powers” or “trivial powers”? I think “trivial”, but I met a guy once who thought otherwise. Two — Should such a power be upgraded to “super” if it could be harnessed by the Pentagon and converted into an energy weapon that could lower the morale of any large sandwich consuming nation that we may someday come into conflict with? (I have yet to form an opinion on part two.) And three - Jell-0: that stuff is weird. I think someone should check that stuff out.

Well, those are my wonderments. Larry said it could be my life's work and my possible “in” to the scientific community (“yeah, you're a regular Einstein,” he tells me. “Now move!”) And to think that I came up with it all by myself, though Larry did help me with my spelling. I realize that the “watch it wiggle, see it jiggle” theory still dominates the field of Jell-0 study, however, I think it is high time the intelligentsia challenged such piffle. In fact, I think it's about time we rethinked a
lot of stuff. I only hope that you do too.

Sincerely,
Your friend and mine (and Larry's)
Mack