Jour 18 — Four-leaf Clover

I was going through my Instagram feed while stumbled upon this beauty. Despite his good looks, he’s not my type. It’s only once I get to the publisher’s comment.

Find a Boyfriend!

It angers me. I admit that my first reaction was

Go fuck yourself!

It’s a big reaction I know, that’s why I refrained from posting a comment as I feel. Apart from no teenager is going to resonate, as always I want to rationalize my sentiments — why does it make me angry? I’m sure this is not just frustration sprung from feeling lonely/horny/all of the above. This is more than that, it has to be.

Who are these people to tell me to “Find a boyfriend!”? Is our existence as being cheapened to this? Our life goal has been reduced to “Finding a boyfriend”? Are we back in the 1950's?

I know the app is called ‘Clover’, does it mean finding ‘the one’, finding a boyfriend is purely the business of the four-leaf clover (perhaps with the exception of William Levy from this J-Lo clip, I agree with her when she sings ‘I feel lucky like a four leaf clover’). Isn’t having stable relationship a matter of understanding and empathy, something that is a work of not one, but two people. And it takes time and timing, I can go on.

I haven’t been in a relationship for 4 years now. I’ve surfed through waves of online dating fads — location based, personality compatibility, mutual network, sophisticated algorithm etc. I’ve met many, many people. Some remain in my life as friends, most would just come and go. Finding a boyfriend is some work on your part, as much as some work on his part. Not every one is willing to work on it all the time, even more rare to have two willing beings to say ‘Yes, let’s work on this together’. So to say one can use an app that has a magic of four-leaf clover and will find you the other half instantly? Bite me.

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