I understand where you’re coming from Chris. I used to think like that too. It would be absolutely wonderful to have someone from an oppressed group hold my hand and show me all the the error of my ways and be utterly tolerant of my mistakes with a smile plastered to their face. However, that is a *big* ask in my opinion. If I do that as a privileged person, I’m basically asking them to deal with the aggravation of their oppression *and* performing emotional labour of informing me of what I did wrong while soothing my privileged guilt with a smile and patience.

In my opinion though, being a privileged ally (as a white, cisgender, heterosexual women) means not adding to an oppressed group’s burden. It means that I have to get used to being uncomfortable if I’m called out, apologizing for my mistake, and trying to understand where they are coming from by doing my own research.