I have never in my life wanted to poop so bad in public as I do right now.

I usually wake up in the morning and have a cup of coffee with Bae, while we talk about the night before and layout plans for the new day.

During the week, I’m always the first one out of the house because I have to be to work for 8AM which means (if I don’t hit snooze 10x) I’m usually up by 7, make coffee for him and I, shower and leave.

Today, however, is a little different. Bae had to work fairly early this morning and today is my day off (from work) but I still needed to come into the office (my graduate assistantship) to finish up some paperwork.

The mistake I made this morning was not making coffee at home. Epic. Fail. I decided that today I wanted to go to Starbucks and grab my favorite Grande Caramel Macchiato with Soy milk & extra caramel drizzle. But now I have to poop.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I don’t have a fear of pooping in public but it’s not as comfortable as taking a nice quiet dump in the privacy of your own clean bathroom at home.

Fast forward to this very moment. I had to find the most secluded bathroom on campus, build the thickest nest, you know the ridiculous amount of tissue you like on top of the toilet seat so you can sit comfortably. Because let’s face it, women can squat and pee but the same doesn’t hold true when you gotta shit.

But I’m upset because I did all of that and nothing happened.


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