This thing called Marriage

This is not one of those posts about getting the perfect guy or girl to marry. It is a response to Nigerian guys who are anti-marriage. To Nigerian guys who mock their female friends for thinking “too much” about marriage.


It’s important to understand why a lot of girls think too much about marriage. We still live in a society where married women are given more respect just because they are married.

I watched a Moments with Mo episode featuring Toke Makinwa and Adaora Oleh. The first topic that day was marriage and Toke cited an example where LASTMA officials would treat you differently if you are married, because they do not know who you are married to.

Now let’s back up to the common notion about the aunties that come every Christmas to ask when you are bringing the man home. These things do happen. Even though we claim to be a new generation, we are only slowly departing from that way in which we were raised.

I have an aunt who is over forty and unmarried and then other family members keep linking it to the fact that she is not prayerful. A lot of people can relate to this.

To think or not to think

If you desire a successful career, you have to have a game plan. Your game plan might be get formal education, internships, write a resume and apply for a job. You don’t wait for an engineering job or political appointment to come and meet you in your house.

So if you desire a successful marriage someday, do you sit and wait for it to meet you in your House? Why does thinking about marriage, reading books about marriage and praying towards it make you obsessed?

Please Nigerian guys, let’s drop the single story that all girls are obsessed with marriage.

Some people may claim that a lot of girls think about marriage because of societal pressures. But let’s face it, both guys and girls think about marriage in the way society has taught them.

Our society teaches guys to start thinking about marriage after school and after getting the good job. So its no wonder why guys would assume that girls should think the same way.


I can’t leave this article without admitting that some girls are downright obsessed. But then, some guys are too, due to family pressures. On thinking about marriage, How much is too much?

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