20

In a few days I’ll be 20 years old. I’ve achieved nothing from my goals, but I daily take tiny steps toward what I crave for.

I have daily small tasks to achieve, which makes me feel better every day when I finish every single task in my to do list ( I use very useful application called Todoist).

I consider this year the best year of my life. I changed a lot, I no longer feel useless. I’m as close as possible to mental stability.

I’ve always been an introvert with the tendency to be an extrovert. This year I’ve made many friends because I wasn’t afraid to talk and listen to them. And never minded the fact of becoming vulnerable because of telling a personal stuff.

Before saying something personal or doing most of my actions I just ask myself :“What will happen? What’s the worst of it?” mostly the answer is nothing so harmful. Just a feeling will vanish in a few days or hours and I choose not to overthink about it.

My comfort zone had lost it’s grip over me. I no longer let the feeling of comfortableness or the safety which caused by my stay in my comfort zone prevent me from doing new things and meeting new people.

Whenever I’m about to meet new people I feel afraid and anxious, but I don’t react based on these feelings because it’s caused by my anxiety and if I did I’ll only stay home for hours and isolate myself. I just throw myself at the social situation, let the worse happen, and force myself to deal with it. Sometimes I embarrass my self, say inappropriate things, but so what? Everyone does. I just taught myself to accept it and to not care about being anxious anymore.

Long story short, I consider this is the greatest year of my life, for so many reasons. For daily improving myself. For not being afraid from my anxiety. For having the chance to meet great people because I wasn’t afraid to talk. For knowing what I’m most passionate about, and starting to improve myself at it.

I’m sure that this upcoming year is going to be great, because I started to know how valuable time is, and how to use it appropriately.

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”