Let’s stop limiting ourselves.
This post will be part of a 3 piece series on my outlook on life. Values that I’ve built up over the years in my life of struggle, enjoyment, pain & joy.
Why is it that often we limit ourselves and merely exist in our comfort zone day in and day out?
Think about it. When was the last time you did something that truly took you outside your comfort zone?
I’m talking; changed careers completely to pursue your passions, skydiving while having a fear of heights, moving across the world to a country where you don’t speak the language, or confronting your past to truly understand yourself.
We get into jobs that don’t excite us, knowing that there is something else out there for us where we truly excel.
Relationships that don’t make us truly happy, but are comfortable enough so that we don’t have to confront our shortcomings.
We surround ourselves with people that we know deep down don’t truly make us happy & yet we continue to live our lives this way.
Why is that?
The reason is that the natural zone most people (Myself included) tend to operate in is the “Comfort Zone”.
This is the zone where we feel safe and in control of our lives, and let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to feel safe & in control?
The issue with this zone is that absolutely no growth happens here.
Me, I’ve found myself constantly operating outside of my comfort zone from a young age due to what life had in store.
Whether it was my family sending me to New Zealand by myself aged 14 for a better future, spending most of my teen years thinking about what the next entrepreneurial venture was for me, spending age 18–21 trying to find where my next rent payment was coming from or figuring out ways to stay in New Zealand where I wasn’t being given a visa.
I attribute most of the growth I was able to achieve in my relatively short life (25 as I’m writing this) to outside forces that threw me outside of my comfort zone whether I wanted to or not.
We can only reflect in hindsight which is why I believe sharing this message is incredibly important. At the time, I felt lost and senseless and I wasn’t even sure if I was covering any ground at all.
However, looking back, I now come to realise that if not for the countless time spent outside my comfort zone, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
We’ve all heard the popular saying:
“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”
The quote is self-explanatory. Imagine yourself as the ship. You’re relatively safe in the harbour, you know your surroundings & there is routine around the dock.
If you set sail, you don’t know what awaits you.
But what you do know is that you will definitely get a sense of your limits. You will learn to navigate the oceans better. You won’t be afraid of the towering waves that crash toward you.
In the end, you might capsize or you might discover things no one else has before.
A major challenge of “getting outside your comfort zone” is the fact that what immediately follows it is the “Fear Zone.
The feeling of “What if I capsize”.
The feeling of “I’m not ready”.
The feeling of “Not now, maybe one day”.
The feeling of “But what will other people think if I fail?”.
And here is where most people regress back into the “Comfort Zone”. Because this is where it starts to get uncomfortable. This is your first storm when you’ve sailed out of the harbour and the natural instinct is to sail back.
No one is immune to these thoughts. This is just how our brains work. What sets people who go back into their comfort zones and people who continue on is that the latter take the jump.
They acknowledge the discomfort and sail into the storm regardless.
Could they capsize? Sure. And that happens more often than we think (See Survivorship bias).
However, isn’t it better to have tried and failed, to loved and lost than never to have tried & never have loved in the first place?
The good news is that, if you can push past the fear zone, the storm starts to clear out.
You are now in the “Learning Zone”.
This is the zone where you start to learn new skills, where you expand your horizons, where you learn that “actually, that wave wasn’t that bad”.
It’s in the learning zone where you gain confidence not only in yourself but in your abilities to navigate difficult situations.
As you continue to operate in this zone, without realising it, you will find yourself in the “Growth Zone”.
And it’s at this zone where the magic happens. It’s at this zone where people start to ask you;
“How did you do this?”
“You’re great at XYZ, how long did it take?”
“You’re so lucky to be doing what you love”
“I don’t know what I wanna be doing but seems like you’ve figured it out”
You and only you know the journey that you’ve had to take to start operating in the growth zone.
The courage took to get out of your comfort zone, the turbulences of overcoming the fear zone, and the discipline it takes to continue on in the learning zone.
Let me give you an example.
I always knew that what truly makes me happy is the ability to inspire other people. Seeing or hearing other people create meaningful change in their lives or tackle problems they thought were too large to tackle.
The issue is that, I didn’t want to leave my comfort zone and when I did, I regressed after stumbling into the fear zone.
“What if people think it’s stupid?
“What do I have to share that people could use anyway?”
“I’m not even that good at this, better stick to what I’m good at” and so on and so on.
I’m currently in my learning zone with this.
I’m slowly making more effort to write, mentor & educate around ideas that I am truly passionate about. Taking a conscious effort to embrace my life & my story to hopefully inspire other people.
Could this fail? Sure. Could some people not enjoy it? Sure.
But having tried and failed will always be a better outcome than being on my deathbed thinking “Could I have made a larger impact on the world than I did?”
I want to end all of my pieces with some actions that you can take.
I want you to think about all parts of your life objectively and write down parts where you truly wish you had change.
Listen to that little voice inside of you that sometimes goes “How great would it be if I was doing X instead?” or “I am not really happy with Y”
Write those down and here’s the big ask.
I want you to take an action towards achieving one of those points. Not planning but real action.
If it’s travel, book your flight or accommodation.
If it’s taking up a new hobby, book in a day to do it.
If it’s learning a new skill, start it.
If it’s becoming more social, reach out to someone and organise a day of activities.
As soon as you do, you will begin to experience the joys of living outside your comfort zone.
Do this enough times and you will become limitless.
Written by Omer Hazer
