Success, it seems, is more internal than external. It’s not about whether you’re running as fast and keeping up with others. It’s about whether or not you’re hitting the mile markers that you’ve mapped out for yourself.
Why We Never Feel Successful Enough
Mike Sturm
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It’s interesting, perhaps even ironic, that the people who have an internal scorecard, and care least about how others judge them, come across as more compelling. They appear confident in themselves and their behaviors seem to be driven by their own beliefs rather than trying to seek someone else’s approval. This makes them more authentic and credible.

This is evident in scenarios where we are inherently seeking approval such as job interviews or dating. In both those scenarios we are, by definition, trying to be liked or respected or trusted. The opinion of the other person matters. Both those with an inner scorecard know that what the other person thinks matters only in that context. It’s about “will I get this job” rather than “am I worthy”. Failure equates to failure in that task, not failure as a person.