TIRED
I’m not depressed, i’m tired, tired of being constantly broke, tired of not being able to eat what I really want to eat today because it might mean I won’t be able to afford to eat at all tomorrow or the day after.
Tired of making up excuses to skip going out because the money I might spend on our cocktails tonight is equal to my transport fare to work for next week.
Tired of not being able to do special things for you because I can’t afford to, tired of telling you that things will get better and doubting that they will.
Tired of money always being the first thing on my mind and not in the good way, tired of having to think about the financial consequences of every action.
Tired of wondering if i’ll ever have enough for two.
I’m not acting up, i’m just tired, tired of hiding my emotions, tired of acting like I don’t love you with all of my heart; tired of being afraid, afraid that if I show you how I really feel you might leave like those I loved before you.
I’m just tired, tired of acting like this is just a fling, tired of acting like we are just friends with benefits; tired of suppressing my rage when you are not available because you are with someone else, tired of wondering if you secretly feel the same way deep inside.
Tired of trying to silence my thoughts when I wonder if i’ll ever have or be enough for you.
