This felt like Communism
Where do I begin to tell you about this experience with online dating? It was deceitful. See the one thing I hate the most in the whole wide world are liars. I was being led to believe I was talking to someone who turned out to be someone else. I am so naïve, this is one of my flaws, I’m so helpless about it but at least I am self-aware. This person led me to believe he was someone he really was not and this sucks but something in me was telling me I should not fall for this person as easily as I may have according to past experiences. I think these values and unseen barriers are there for a reason and more than ever, I can see how important it is to really listen to my intuition and these gut feelings. From the moment I saw him I felt lied to. How terrible! I just wanted to go back home and act as if nothing ever happened. But that’s not me, I am a nice person and I guess I felt bad. Regardless, we did have a great conversation lasting up to a whole day but it was like communism, there is no better way to put it. He was good on paper but not in practice. I guess I need to be more cautious about putting myself out there. This was terrible but I stuck with it and at least gave him the opportunity to express himself. I asked questions which were very dear to my heart and he failed to let me understand his values and did not adhere to mine. This is the essence of who I am. My experiences have moulded my values and he kept saying how he could learn from me. But honestly, I don’t want to start explaining myself and my values. I need someone who is like me in that sense. And I know myself very well, I think this is going to cause me some problems when trying to find someone but that’s ok, I am in it struggles and all! I wished him the best of luck and love and I think I handled this situation rather fairly, really explaining my feelings and my needs and really letting him know what is important to me. I do not want to cause any harm and therefore I feel as though I made a good decision. I think it’s a good thing we met really early or I think I would have been really upset. I wouldn’t have handled the situation in a very polite manner. I can honestly be proud of myself. It has taken a lot of my energy though, you live and you learn. What’s life without spontaneity right? I think others would beg to differ but that’s a whole type of person and conversation. I have learned that sometimes people portray themselves a certain way to be able to make things happen. In his case, I think he needed to fake confidence to get a date. Fake it till you make it baby! Lol, but honestly, I feel kinda betrayed and it is not a good feeling at all. Expecting too much is just not good for our souls. And one thing, listen to your guts! It knows more about you than you think you know of yourself.
Love always Millicent xoxo