New Mom’s Guide To Abbreviations

I didn’t know this, but there are tons of abbreviations out there to save moms time, because time is one things moms ain’t got! We don’t have time to eat meals sitting down, shower as much as we’d like, or at least not shower luxuriously, and we certainly don’t have time for things like “full words”.

So, here’s a cheat sheet of some of the most common mom abbreviations you may run across.

  • LO: Little one
  • SO: Significant other (husband)
  • MIL: Mother-In-Law (not to be confused with MILF)
  • FIL: Father-In-Law
  • Anything-IL: You get the idea
  • Just one letter on it’s own, for example, “So I took G to his room”: G is the baby, but the mom doesn’t want you to know baby’s full name or she ain’t got time to spell that shit out!
  • SAHM/D: Stay at home mom/dad
  • DD/DS/DH: Dear daughter/son/husband
  • BF: Breastfeed
  • CIO: Cry it out
  • FTM: First time mom
  • L&D: Labor and delivery
  • TTC: Trying to conceive
  • PPD: Post partum depression
  • FD: Full diaper
  • FDABB: Full diaper at Best Buy
  • TTITFGA: Temper tantrum in the frozen goods aisle
  • DPOSFPITAPIM: Dropped pacifier on the subway floor, picked it up and put it in mouth
  • LTBGAA: Level 10 breakdown at Applebee’s
  • SAKWPPAMMLLK: Screamed and kicked while police passed and made me look like a kidnapper
  • BIMH: Boogers in my hair
  • WUOAHANTE: Woke up once an hour all night to eat
  • DHM: Definitely hates me
  • TOATNSN: Tripped on a toy, need surgery now
  • DSW: Giant shoe store that has tons and tons of shoes for as far as the eye can see
  • DTF: 1. Ready to get busy (like, in the vagina), 2. Something many new parents won’t be for awhile

Jessica Delfino is a comedian, musician, writer and new mom who writes about life with one baby, one husband and one cat. She is currently developing a TV show about motherhood and writes about #momlife at Mommyish.com, VH1.com, her blog Jessy Delfino’s Blog, on The Coo on Facebook and Twitter, and more.

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