Remember Me

فَاذْكُرُونِي أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَاشْكُرُوا لِي وَلَا تَكْفُرُون

There was something missing

a vacancy inside

For the longest, I didn’t know what

but my thoughts would echo in it’s chambers

so I tried to silence it with confusion

Maybe if I didn’t understand

I wouldn’t worry myself about it

I tried to fill it with memories

But the void was so deep

So vast

That they got lost in the process

I tried to fill it with people

But they poured out like ants from their hill

It was just too much for them

I tried to fill it with time

And it sucked me in

It felt like I was falling for ages

I somehow managed to find my memories

Collected them & tried my best to hold on

But the moment I grasped them tight, they turned to dust

I sat in awe of my own emptiness

Feeling darker than any night

And in that moment I began to cry

I cried

And cried

And cried

& the tears collected

Went from puddles

To pools

From currents

To waves

The void filled with misery & I found myself swimming for my life

But when I grew weary

& it was too much to bear

I found myself in submission to the depths

Drifting deeper

And deeper into what had become an abyss

I closed my eyes tight

My last breath was a sigh

My last thought

“I remember. I know I’m late. But I remember”

Just as I was accepting those depths as my reality

Just as my finger unfurled from the final twine

I saw a light, shining from a door below

Growing in warmth & intensity

The door bursted open

Bathing me in familiarity

Unearthly brilliance that absorbed every drop of insecurity

& filled every space

Luminescence that translated into understanding without uttering a word

Epiphanies introduced through divine silence

He remembered me.

I wrapped myself in his love. Al Wadud.

I took comfort in his mercy. Ar-Raheem.

& I was finally at peace. As-Salaam