Trigger Warning: Dissenting Ideas about rape culture within.
The author clearly has no idea what men are afraid of. It is not the fear of not having sex, or being said “no” to. It is the fear of being accused/convicted of rape, after having consensual sex.
Note: All of the following situations are sometimes considered rape:
- A man and a woman go out drinking. Both are drunk. They have sex.
The next day, they both regret it. The woman decides she was too drunk to make that decision. She claims rape.
Where does that become rape? Is it the same as the legal driving limit?
Is it BAC related? Because by that definition, 90% of husbands have raped their wives. The only reason they aren’t in jail is because their wife never decided it was rape the next morning.
2. A woman indicates sexual interest in a man, and the interest is reciprocated. They start making out. At some point, the woman changes her mind, without telling the man, but she isn’t as into it as she was previously. The man is eager, and continues to have sex with her, meeting no resistance, and being somewhat oblivious to her loss of interest.
Not all women are the same. Some are shy. Some don’t communicate well. Are we to assume that any women who is not ‘crazy in bed’ is potentially being raped. Why does responsibility not fall on the woman to say ‘ Hey, I changed my mind. What’s so hard about that?”
Instead of your tea analogy, here’s one:
A woman invites a man into her home. At some point the man becomes dull and tedious, and she no longer wants him in her house. But she doesn’t tell him to leave. Instead, she expects him to figure it out based on her curt responses and general lack of engagement. She triggers a silent alarm, and the police arrest him for trespassing.
3) Let’s say that a women has been dating a guy for three months, and they haven’t had sex yet. She then declares that if he doesn’t have sex with her soon, she’s going to break up with him. So, he has sex with her.
Apparently, that’s rape, because she coerced him into having sex. If a guy asks for sex, and she says she isn’t in the mood, is he allowed to act disappointed, or is that coercion? Every teenage movie from 1970–1990 depicts teen boys trying to convince their girlfriends to have sex. Now, we’re told that’s all rape?
Yes, it’s nice when guys are willing to wait forever, because they’re in love. But to fall short of that gold standard shouldn’t be rape.
The attitude of #Ibelievewomen is dangerous. Even if false rape claims are a tiny percentage of rape claims, that still means that some innocent men are having their lives destroyed over it. Each case needs to be looked at on an individual basis, as opposed to automatically believing someone based on their gender.
It’s like not worrying about innocent people being given the death penalty, because it’s only a tiny percentage that are actually innocent.