Ya Allah don’t let me get attached to what and who isn’t for me. Ya Allah don’t let me fall in love with someone who isn’t mine. Ya Allah don’t let me grow a passion for a life that isn’t meant to be mine.
I can’t wait to fall in love, the real love, the good love, the right love, my love. The one destined for me, eternally. With it comes the fear of falling for the wrong one. The pain of it, the disappointment, the hurt. Thinking this one is really thé one, just to later realize he was never for you. He never really loved you, he never really cared, enough. It’s so hard to even keep hope alive or not only finding the one for you, but how will you really know when you meet him. How can you be sure, how can you be sure this one is yours. How can you be sure you’re not putting your heart out for it to be half-loved and half-appreciated and cared for.
Halal Dating: no such thing boo.
So….how am I supposed to know. Even harder when you refuse to date. How do I explain this, in my own personal way. Let me put myself out there for a minute then.
Not willing to date, been single since forever, not really a relationship person, runs at the slightest hint of interest shown…how do I find the one? Gave someone a chance, they sounded like they were sent straight down from God for me, long story short, they weren’t. Sounded serious, marriage talk. Yet they wanted to date and I wasn’t down for that. I really got my hopes up, fell in love with them as a person, everything. Even the things I didn’t think I would like, I started to really not mind. Head over heels, I was a goner. Looking back I was an idiot, but I really thought this was him. Now I know better, but do I really? Yes I know he’s not the one for me, but I don’t know how to know who is in the future. I’ve got some hurt feelings right now, I know I’ll appreciate this later on. For right now though, it just really hurts. And I feel dumb for how quick I fell, I feel dumb for how much I cared, I feel dumb for all I thought, I feel dumb for opening the gates of real love for him. Not to say he didn’t deserve it, because he does deserve a great, deep, burning, forgiving, and embracing love. Just not mine.
