Fear and Voting in Leechwood South
Simon Hedges visits the key marginal to see what voters really make of Corbyn, Brexit and the snap election.
There are 101 different nationalities here, chattering with excitement, phone cameras on constant duty, capturing all the fun. The whole place has a magical atmosphere, it’s the perfect place to buy treats, toys and gifts. To be honest, I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.
But the Platform 9 3/4 gift shop would have to wait for another day, I had a train to catch.
Leechwood Central station is far less salubrious than the great London termini of Kings Cross. No enchanted portals here. Instead, a solitary vending machine sits on the concourse. I slot in 70p for a Yorkie bar. Its spiral shelf performs a half-hearted twist and I watch with frustration as the chunky confectionery agonisingly fails to drop.
“‘ere pal, I’ll sort ya” A young street wise lad of around 26 appears and gives the machine an almighty kick. Sure enough, I get my chocolate. I ask him what he thinks about the snap election.
“Da wha? Nah, not really int’rested in all tha’ to be honest wit yoo. All I knows is, I don’t trust tha’ Corbyn. If ISIS invaded, can yoo ‘magine ‘im in a tank like yoo cud wit Dan Jarvis or Theresa May or calmly leading the charge wit’ an AK47 and a pint o’milk like Tim Farron? Nah chance.”
And what about your local MP, Robbie Hedges?
“He has been a magnificent servant to the community and we will all be very sad to see him go.”
I get the impression the people of Leechwood South really love my brother. And if they give me the honour of representing them in parliament, they will grow to love me too, even though, at the same time, they will be complete fools for voting Labour. I imagine these humble working class folk will reject the metropolitan frauds of Corbyn’s party and vote either UKIP or Conservative like most ordinary normal people, including me.
No place better represents the fault-line, schism and perhaps even the fissure of British politics than this quiet post-industrial town. I take a walk up Leechwood’s deserted, blustery high-street.
Anyone from the London-centric media would be in for a shock if they ever stumbled upon this post-apocalyptic scene. They would only find 5 or 6 of their precious “coffee chains” and just a single branch each of Waterstones, Pizza Express and Zizzis. Although, I imagine the modest, unassuming kinsfolk of Leechwood are more familiar with the arcades and betting shops.
There are a few boarded-up store fronts that all probably used to be The Works. There is also a The Works that isn’t boarded-up. I take a look at the window display and see a few dozen copies of Ian Dunt’s “Bumper Brexit Book” in which he says brexit is bad even though for ages he said it would be actually good because he really hated the EU, but not any more, it is good after all.
When I turn the corner into a rough residential area that has clearly seen better days, something catches my eye. It’s a “Vote Labour” poster. I assume it must be some kind of ironic joke. Sure, my brother got a 200 majority on a 15% turnout in the last election, so he’s factually the most popular politician in town, but voting Labour in 2017? You must be having a laugh! I knock on the door to see who this satirical mastermind is. It’s Kathleen, who works for the local council. She says, when it comes to general elections, she has always voted Labour.
“Of course Corbyn’s not been perfect, but the bottom line is that a Labour government would invest in schools, hospitals and public services while the Tories are deliberately defunding them and would happily see them rot. It’s not rocket science.”
I’m doubled over with laughter, tears streaming down my face at this preposterous statement. Looks like the Corbyn cultists and Momentum nutters have really brainwashed this poor woman.
And what do you think of your current MP, Robbie Hedges?
“I happily voted for him to keep the Tories out, but to be quite honest he’s a …(great) person and …(not) an utter waste of space.” Thanks Kathleen, maybe you’re not so bad after all.
Simon Hedges is the Labour Party Candidate for Leechwoood South
