Please tell me this is tongue in cheek! Otherwise, I’m taken aback by the superficiality of the standards by which the author assesses the progress/quality of relationships. What does reciting long passages from War and Peace have to do with making pesto and why would either be the basis upon which to build a long term relationship? Sees different images in clouds than you do? Is that really monumental? The tagline of the author is that he write reviews for movies he hasn’t see. Sound like he does the same thing for relationships — writes reviews of relationships he hasn’t actually been in.