I thank Thee for sharing Thy moving story with us, Ashley!
Exceptional emotions make exceptional artists.
I think Thou hast a talent for writing.
And most probably some even greater talent for other art form… or even for some exceptionally effective psychotherappy (i.e. Deep Regression therappy), or other exceptional talent *yet* to be discovered! Keep looking…
Don’t worry, You will find it sooner or later. Every human has it.