WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH ME?!

AS YOU’VE PROBABLY NOTICED I’VE BEEN SENDING FEWER EMAILS LATELY. I WISH I COULD TELL YOU ALL THAT THIS IS JUST BECAUSE I FORGOT HOW TO USE OUTLOOK. NO. THE REASON IS MUCH MORE SERIOUS.,

SOMEONE OR SOMEWOMAN HAS SET UP A TWITTER ACCOUNT WHICH TAKES MY FUNNY MEMOS OUT OF CONTEXT AND PUTS THEM ON THE INTERNET FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO TWEET ABOUT.

DAVE IN FINANCE WHO MADE A LOT OF MONEY OUT OF BITCOIN AND IS PROBABLY THE ONLY GOOD MILLENNIAL TELLS ME COOKS ARE MILITARIZING. I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE SO MANY COOKS ON TWITTER BUT DAVE ASSURES ME THEY ARE ANGRY AT EVERYONE WHO HAS A BETTER JOB.

HAVEN’T YOU EVER HEARD OF THE FREE MARKET?

SO NOT ONLY IS SOMEONE IN THIS COMPANY LEAKING MY EMAILS BUT THEY ARE MOONLIGHTING IN A KITCHEN SOMEWHERE. I’LL HAVE TO CHECK WITH THE LAWYERS WHETHER THAT’S EVEN ALLOWED BUT WHOEVER IT IS CAN EXPECT A CALL WHEN I FIND OUT

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