An Equation for Personal Growth, Accompanied by Four Graphs
Complacency is comfortable. Growth isn’t.
If you asked most people, I’m sure that they would definitely not want to be called — or even silently considered — complacent. And yet, if you asked those same people if they wish to be comfortable, they would resoundingly answer, “Yes!” I know that I would have fallen into that camp just a short while ago.
Quite unfortunately for my previous comfort level, it is now my belief that personal comfort is a telltale sign of complacency. Put another way, however comfortable I currently feel is directly correlated to how complacently I am currently living.
In graph form, it looks like this:
On the flip side, there’s discomfort. Living in a perpetual state of feeling uncomfortable is not something most people seek out or want. I was one of them.
However, it is in this place, outside of my comfort zone, that I have grown the most. The correlation again reveals itself — however diligently I am currently leveraging my discomfort equates to my long-term personal growth. That leverage could simply be reflecting on the lessons I have learned, or intentionally seeking out new discomfort.
In my conversations with and observations of others, I have found this truth to remain fairly constant. For example, working out is uncomfortable. Wildly so, at first. But this is the only path to growing stronger. No one builds muscle while sitting on the couch watching Netflix. (Though, if anyone could make that happen, it would be a multi-billion dollar opportunity! Do that next, Elon.)
In short, if I’m not currently experiencing some spiritual, mental, or physical discomfort, the less likely it is that I am growing. I’m stuck.
There’s an upside to this, though. The more we practice living in a perpetual state of discomfort will grow our tolerance of such discomfort. It gets easier, just like the gym. With training, our hearts, minds, and bodies become more accustomed to discomfort, allowing us to grow stronger — and go farther— than we ever have in the past.
I would even argue that, with such diligence, we can expand and alter our comfort zones entirely. Of course, we must never stay there, as far as we may push ourselves to the limits. The more we diligently work to live beyond the borders of our comfort zones, the more fulfilling lives we will experience.
All this to say, for me, it’s a rather basic equation these days. If I’m not uncomfortable, I’m not growing. If I’m not growing, I won’t experience the most fulfilling life possible, especially long-term. While I’m no math wiz, it looks something like this:
Discomfort × Diligence = Personal Growth = Fulfillment
This life lesson has led me to regularly asking myself simple, but pressing questions like:
- Do I want to live a comfortable life, or a fulfilling life?
- How uncomfortable am I right now?
- Am I diligently leveraging my current discomfort to help me grow, or complacently waiting for it to pass?
- Where do I need to grow my tolerance for discomfort?
This isn’t the easiest way to live, but I do believe it’s better. To use a spiritual metaphor, “For the gate is narrow and the Way is hard that leads to [the fulfilling] Life, and those who find it are few.”
I choose not to join the ranks of the few. I choose to diligently seek discomfort. I choose the Way.
