Tinder Killed Romance But These 14 Gestures Can Bring It Back

Dating in 2016 is a little…cold. We’ve ditched a lot of “nonessentials” or traded them in for something more “efficient.” I’m told it’s what millennials do. I’m all for instant gratification, but it seems to me that relationships might have a little more spark if we implemented some of these admittedly pointless yet inarguably darling traditions. They’re packed with displays of affection and caring that goes a long way.

1. Giving her your class ring

I’m probably not making any strides for the feminist movement by asking a man to brand me with his ring or jacket, but strictly for the sake of romanticism, it’s nice, ya know? Now, when a guy tosses me a pair of dirty Hanes sweatpants, I pretend he’s just offered me his love trousers. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Of course, we don’t all have our ’08 class rings or letter jackets lying around, but a figuritive ring would do. Maybe a less-pathetic token of affection to consider would be just a normal jacket — but like, a nice one. Maybe instead of a ring, you can make her a nice braided bracelet?

2. Having a “song”

Your “song” captures the essence of your relationship. It’s a special melodic representation of your love — kind of like the secret password in a club. Five years down the road, when your lover’s toenail clipping method makes you want to shove their face in a toilet, you can play your “song” as a reminder that you once kind of liked them.

3. Bringing flowers to a date

It’s a nice gesture and shows your date they’re not just another swipe on Tinder. Bringing flowers expresses you’re genuinely excited to spend this time with them.

4. Walking up to the door

Texting me when you’re outside is just lazy and HONKING is just rude. No love story ever started with, “He honked and I came a-runnin’. In that moment, I just knew.’”

5. The goodnight kiss

There’s nothing wrong with sex on the first date, but perhaps a good ol’-fashioned kiss goodnight might keep the flame of a new relationship burning a little longer. Just a thought.

6. Calling after a date

When I like someone, I’m like a cat in heat. I dont want a text and I don’t want to wait three days to hear from you again. If I’m going to invest in this, I need to know you like me just as much as I like you, if not more. As soon as you get home, call me and tell me how beautiful I looked tonight. Extra points if you do it from the car.

7. Talking on the phone until 2 a.m.

I would sit on the phone with my 6th-grade boyfriend for hours every night. We’d play 20 Questions and ask each other risqué questions like, “What kind of kisser do you think I am?” As an adult, going to work after an all-nighter of giggles and butterflies sounds totally worth it.

8. Men walking streetside

Keep me from falling into the street! Chivalry is taking a hit by a Honda for your girl.

9. Carving names in a tree

Modern-day public declarations of love have devolved into writing your inititals in the bathroom stall of a Chili’s. How thoughtful — now people can admire your clearly profound love when they see “A+C=Luv 4 eva” while they change their tampon.

10. Giving your full focus and attention

Did you want to take me out to learn about me or….? Here are some tips for accomplishing that: Put your phone away, don’t worry about the game or the photo someone just tagged you in on Facebook. If you could at least PRETEND to be completely enamored by my presence, it will go a long way. Leave your phone in the car.

11. Writing letters

This is another example of how technology has hindered our ability to express our feelings. Recieving an acronym-filled text that is supposed to capture the essence of your feelings really doesn’t pack much of a punch. Sending a written letter shows you care.

12. Asking permission

Whatever happened to someone asking,”Can I call you?” or “When can I see you again?” Unless specifically stated otherwise, today’s dating scene assumes permission to just reach out whenever it’s convenient. Assumed access is an abused luxury and just asking goes a long way.

13. Calling it what it is

It’s actually impressive how we’ve managed to skirt around showing vulnerability. We’ve evolved to avoiding the term “dating” entirely and replacing it with vague blasé terms to insinuate our lack of affection for another person — even when we’re actually really into that person. “Oh, we’re just hanging out” or “We’re just talking.” What you’re really doing is making a transparent attempt to sound blasé. It’s a defense mechanism that translates (true or not) into, “SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME, I SWEAR.” I get it — you want to feel unattached in case things don’t work out. But dating would be a lot easier if we were more direct and less cowardly.

14. Going dancing

I believe that all relationships would be stronger if they were more like a Fred and Ginger (or Channing and Jenna, whatever). I don’t mean the kind of dancing where I rub my butt on your boner — that’s actually no fun at all. I’m not asking you to be a good dancer. In fact, be a fucking terrible dancer. I appreciate a man who’s not afraid to overdo the “throwing dice” move. Being able to get out on the floor shows confidence and there’s nothing more attractive than that.