The Problem With Palauan Youth — Suicide isn’t the answer!

Welcome to my world:

Many youths today is struggling and depression is very hard to detect. Some say, It’s all in your head. Some Palauan families would say,

“eh Ngarang? Kau a sechal? Be strong and mesisich er a chad”

“you should be strong like our men, brothers, don’t be gay”

“You should be like your father”

Some men don’t understand we all suffer from different pains. We don’t know what their feeling inside. We can’t just tell people to be strong and that’s it!

It’s called being an empath. We carry on other people’s emotions. It can be a blessing and a curse. A gift from God.

Being an empath can really suck at times. People you can feel people’s emotions every time they passed by or confront you. Some don’t know how to use their descernment. It’s easy for narcissistic person to step all over you.

Others ridicule and joke that mental health isn’t a big deal at all and people should just be strong. Whats the point of killing themselves?

On that note, we must educate people on what real mental health is, stop trying to avoid talking about it and more so. And that it is a chemical imbalance of the brain and they need to seek treatment urgently.

It’s time To Face the reality

All source(s) is from Island Times

The main problem in Palau and we’re taught on so many different subjects and who should be strong?

Mental illness isn’t a curse. Others would pass down these generational curses, they put this effect on you.

I know you might face your inner demons inside of you. But stay vigilant, be courgeous, and seek treatment.

We must all be open and willing to help others. Don’t look down on them for their weakness- rather understand the situation. Some families can be dysfunctional. Some problems never get solved.

The Suicide- Trap like a prisoner

Some people can’t seek help, they bottled up their emotions inside. I do not want to think my culture is really the problem. As Palauan’s we tend to think of our own way of survival and be strong in the bloodline. We always support each other in customs and traditional ways.

It is very hard to show how to be strong and following our traditional manhood that is bestowed upon us as men. We were warriors, back in our ancient times.

I get this criticisms a lot from people especially my family. That I should be strong like my father and never show the vulnerability. As they frown upon if they seek every little weakness in me.

I realize I don’t have to do that. As I know we live in the modern world, at this day and age. I see things in a different light.

Don’t forget who you are

I say this all the time. Don’t forget who you are. Depression can really be difficult. What I can tell you that Family Intervention is very important, one must seek help from a relative or a friend.

It is difficult and this comes from your intuition! Really have to listen to it. In some areas in life, I experienced doubts. But I just get up and do it. I don’t know where it leads me but I’m sure my intuition does.

Anyway, families are fragile nowadays. We have fights and arguments and misunderstandings. Some people aren’t strong enough to handle pain. Either they kill themselves to end their pain instead of living it.

This comes very crucial, medical treatment is important. You must look for signs of that person who is feeling depressed and isolated. Before things turn to the worst.

Personal Story

I once dealt with depression. The demon that haunted me. I made many mistakes in my life and I’m proud of them. Yet they made me who I am.

There were times people drag me down for taunting me and pushing me down. My aunt K saw what I had been through and witness with my family. It was a “mentally challenging” thing for me.

I felt this demon inside of me and raging and devouring me. I called my aunt K in the phone sobbing with tears and she took me to Behavorial Health.

Others would get ridiculed over this situation. Most others won’t understand at all. I knew she wanted to help, but try to make me feel safe and secured.

However, to keep this blog private. I do not want to share information that as a family member we kept this private. But what I want to share you that depression is NO JOKE.

I was diagnosed with Anxiety. To some people they think It’s stupid. There is many other different kinds of anxieties and they can really damage your health.

My Aunt K was very educated and knew that was the option. My mother and her Boyfriend were not digging this whole mental intervention.

I had to keep my dreams alive, fight for my life. To battle that inner demons. I was forced to be wreckon with!

I was facing myself against this demon inside my head. My families never believed in me and my business was falling apart. I lost my dad and my mother relationship was gone away.

I knew my life was over and thought suicide was the answer.

I had this song in my head, “Jesus take the wheel”

That song saved my life. And no one knew that was my story. I tried to love myself in every way and forgive all my family. Let that darkness faded away, to take that next to heal myself.

This is private for me and my Aunt. As I respect her boundaries, we shouldn’t open this, but I heard rumours flying around that I’m cursed. Maybe It’s not a curse. I guessed I manifested that monster with me. I walked into the house of mirrors, realizing I was hurting myself and others.

I put a restraining order on my uncle, I did it because of my selfish ways to avoid drama and confrontation that was my dad’s brother.

On that very day, I had the courage to speak up with him in the grocery store and apologized. For the regret of hurting him. Where the place I started my Job as a bagger.

On that very day I met my friend Blailes. A very good friend of mine that we used to hang out and tell jokes and make stories. Little did you know in 6 months he passed away and committed suicide in his home town Kayangel.

I cried in my sleep, thinking why didn’t I see the signs and i just pat his back and walked away while he called me friend, and I was suppose to check on him. It really broke my heart that day. I cried in bed. His death taught me a lesson about life. I really want to work hard and help other people you know? Advocate on mental health issues?

I know I got myself into this messed up situation. But I prayed if anyone out there feel the same way. Do not lose hope anymore. You can be the survivor!

The darkness isn’t over yet. We all go through different situations in life. Remember don’t give up and that’s what my father always tells me. I knew in my heart and souls there is a way! Just don’t give up and keep fighting those fears.

They said, know your own worth and don’t look for validation from others. You have your own truth, people would project their insecurity, pain, and jealousy out on you!

For sure, their not checking themselves.

What can you do?

You must find the signs. Depression can be spot on every person.

Being anti-social

Ignoring family calls.

Family problems.

Feeling isolated.

Ignoring messages.

Avoiding gatherings.

Feeling worthless.

*being introverted is fine. But just cutting people off. And being alone isn’t a good sign.

If you see someone struggling, get them to find help and seek treatment immediately.

  • Advised to seek professional help. Whatever written in this blog is for educational purposes but not for real medical doctors. These are just home remedies.

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