Your 2016 Horoscope from Paloma Powers
Paloma Powers is a creative agency developing innovative arts-driven solutions for a post-everything world.
Each winter, Paloma Powers consults with her oracles to forecast the coming year. Culturally agnostic, she gathers intel from the Western and Chinese Zodiac as well as strategic tasseography and other forms of divination (with the exception of palmistry — a gauche pseudoscience). For 2016, she is pleased to share her visions with you, dear reader. Color is key (even when it’s not chroma key), as are transformative makeovers that highlight the increasingly mutable nature of identity. Think shapeshifters, skinwalkers, and not merely a new haircut. For more detailed insights, subscribe to Paloma’s new monthly horoscope and mailing list here. In the meantime, here’s an introduction grouped by sun sign and tied to an actionable object or aesthetic for easy absorption. After all, when every art practice has become a “product”, perhaps products are the last remaining art form.
Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)
The utopian, airy Aquarius is seduced by prismatic, rainbow colors. No single color is enough for the psychedelic, wandering air sign. This year, consider body painting instead of clothing to literally wear your chakra on your sleeve. I leave you with the sound of enlightenment: “ding”.
Pisces (February 19 — March 20)
Symbolized by two fish swimming in opposite directions, Pisces are often torn between antipodal instincts and desires. In 2016, work that dialectic and combine thesis and antithesis into a synthesis. A useful tool may be a latex bodysuit that allows even denizens of the deep to thrive on dry land.
Aries (March 21 — April 19)
Your trendsetter instincts and flashy ways keep your blood hot and your mind racing, but when restlessness inevitably occurs, the Aries blood pressure rises too quickly and needs a soothing balm. Calm yourself with a glass of Technical Milk or Technical Food to bring back your equilibrium so that you can go back to owning 2016.
Taurus (April 20 — May 20)
Khakis, beiges, and olive greens vibrate for the earth bound Taurus’s sensible nature. To shake things up in 2016, try wearing Paloma’s favorite color pink every Friday (also the color of your ruling planet Venus). You’ll be surprised how your new look will draw compliments from everyone in your stretching class.
Gemini (May 21 — June 20)
For the twin sign, the greatest challenge is whether to dance to the beat of your own drum or to follow the crowd. Go with your second instinct and wear the same thing as someone else once a month. Be bold, be brave, and dare to be a copycat.
Cancer (June 21 — July 22)
To dominate this year like a champion inside and out, start with your skin. Help yourself look your best while giving yourself some reboot time from your busy social calendar with a Kabuki-influenced facial mask. Your frenemies will not be able to stop complimenting your fiercely radiant skin.
Leo (July 23 — August 22)
Leos are fearless, fashion forward types. If you’re feeling extra plucky this year, consider making a statement by draping yourself in animal intestines repurposed as jewelry. Recycle-ables are so in. But if you are more animal lover than animal wearer, may I suggest investing in an au courant Daddy Longlegs (like new Vine star Gretchen). As the lion of the zodiac, you will have no trouble taming your new spider.
Virgo (August 23 — September 22)
For the wallflower who resides in Mercury’s shade, swamp green and algae are most flattering on you. To push it a little farther, integrate some texture like Vanta Black into your repertoire. Vanta’s carbon nanotubular structure makes it the blackest substance known to man by absorbing 99.9% of visible light. This will literally help you disappear from the crowd.
Libra (September 23 — October 22)
For the schmoozing, social Libra, the most obvious color that captures your airiness is white, but because you are a classy dame/gent, integrate off-whites, tapiocas, and pearlescent shades into your wardrobe. This 3D-printed table-top lighter makes a white-hot volcano out of a tiny flame; perfect for the Libra who knows that where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)
Mystery and magic surround the sexy Scorpio. And when it comes to fashion, you gravitate toward the offbeat and risky (in fact, the paparazzi have come to expect this from you), so every Monday, why not wear a bold hat. And when it comes to hats, the Brits do it best. Tally ho!
Sagittarius (November 22 — December 21)
The fiery yet spiritual Sagittarius vibes with blues. This year, consider upgrading the sights and scents around you with a glowing, mystical air freshener that is more Bene Gesserit than Martha Stewart (and also happens to be blue). And why not add a Mississippi Delta blues soundtrack to your life to help you overcome the hard luck you had last year.
Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)
The serious and stern Capricorn ruled by Saturn enjoys stark contrast. This year, instead of surrounding yourself with only black or white, try dizzying patterns of both in stripes, checkers, and houndstooth (no grey of course). Look at that Op Art exhibition or adopt that dalmation (or better yet, a hybrid panda-dog).
Keep an eye on the stars and Snapchat your shaman when necessary. For more forecasts, provocations and solutions from Ms. Powers, subscribe to the newsletter, follow her sightings on Instagram, or drop a note to firstname.lastname@example.org
Ciao for now,